[CUDA] Update Dockerfile.cuda with cuda 12.5.1 and cudnn 9 #21987
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Description
Previous image is based on cuda 12.1 and cudnn 8, which is out of date since we have moved to cudnn 9 since 1.19 release.
(1) Upgrade base image to cuda 12.5.1 and cudnn 9.
(2) Update CMAKE_CUDA_ARCHITECTURES from 52;60;61;70;75;86 to 61;70;75;80;86;90 to support A100 and H100
(3) Make the build faster: exclude unit test; use ninja etc.
(4) upgrade some packages (like packaging etc) before building to avoid build error.
Motivation and Context
#21792
#21532