[build] Use modern spelling for Bazel config options

[jwnimmer-tri]

Towards #20731.

See https://bazel.build/configure/attributes for background.

This just gets us started with the solvers flags. More flags are on the way in the future (eigen, fmt, spdlog).

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This change is 

[jwnimmer-tri]

+@SeanCurtis-TRI for feature review, please.

[SeanCurtis-TRI]

+@ggould-tri for platform review, please.

Reviewed 22 of 22 files at r1, all commit messages.
Reviewable status: 1 unresolved discussion, LGTM missing from assignee ggould-tri(platform)

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solvers/BUILD.bazel line 1382 at r1 (raw file):

    name = "disabled_solvers_test",
    deps = [
        ":clarabel_solver_disabled",

BTW It may not be important, but without reading defs.bzl documentaiton, it is more or less impossible to figure out what these targets are. When I see a target I'm not familiar with, it's typically easy to find. These targets defy that. Perhaps a note on where to find these (particularly as this seems to be the only site these targets are referenced).

[ggould-tri]

; documentation notes.

Reviewed 22 of 22 files at r1, all commit messages.
Reviewable status: 6 unresolved discussions

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solvers/defs.bzl line 48 at r1 (raw file):

    Additionally, declares a library {name}_disabled with the disabled flavor,
    intended for use by unit tests checks of stub implementation even when the

typo?

Suggestion:

unit test checks

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tools/flags/BUILD.bazel line 14 at r1 (raw file):

#
# bazelrc example:
#   common --@drake//tools/flags:with_mosek=True

minor: These seem like they should also appear in https://drake.mit.edu/bazel.html#developing-drake-using-bazel

Code quote:

# Command line example:
#   bazel build //:something --@drake//tools/flags:with_mosek=True
#
# bazelrc example:
#   common --@drake//tools/flags:with_mosek=True

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tools/workspace/gurobi/BUILD.bazel line 19 at r1 (raw file):

config_setting(
    name = "enabled_via_define",
    # N.B. This is the legacy spelling. Users shouldn't use this in new code.

minor: This is still the documented spelling in the from_source.md docs, though.

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tools/workspace/snopt/BUILD.bazel line 20 at r1 (raw file):

config_setting(
    name = "enabled_via_define",
    # N.B. This is the legacy spelling. Users shouldn't use this in new code.

minor: As above.

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tools/workspace/mosek/BUILD.bazel line 19 at r1 (raw file):

config_setting(
    name = "enabled_via_define",
    # N.B. This is the legacy spelling. Users shouldn't use this in new code.

minor: As above.

[jwnimmer-tri]

Reviewable status: complete! all discussions resolved, LGTM from assignees ggould-tri(platform),SeanCurtis-TRI(platform)

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tools/flags/BUILD.bazel line 14 at r1 (raw file):

Previously, ggould-tri wrote…

minor: These seem like they should also appear in https://drake.mit.edu/bazel.html#developing-drake-using-bazel

I am repaving that entire file in #22055. I've added a reminder there to add more docs.

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tools/workspace/gurobi/BUILD.bazel line 19 at r1 (raw file):

Previously, ggould-tri wrote…

minor: This is still the documented spelling in the from_source.md docs, though.

The mention in from_source.md is referring the CMake option, which remains unchanged by this PR.

[SeanCurtis-TRI]

Reviewed 4 of 4 files at r2, all commit messages.
Reviewable status: complete! all discussions resolved, LGTM from assignees ggould-tri(platform),SeanCurtis-TRI(platform)