fix(toolchain): multiple fixes for cxx cross build and on macOS

[fffonion]

Summary

• Fix macOS build by using cc_shared_library but hide after an alias and not turned on outside macOS.
• Pass basic cc and ld flags to cross compilers, noticably (the below changes doesn't apply to non-cross builds, however they are already set by Bazel in those environments):
  • Decreases opt flags from default -O3 to -O2
  • Add security flags like -U_FORTIFY_SOURCE, -fstack-protector etc (please check sources for full list of flags)
  • Link to stdc++
• Use a cleaner interface and remove the wrapper for cross tool path resolving.

Checklist

• The Pull Request has tests
• A changelog file has been created under changelog/unreleased/kong or skip-changelog label added on PR if changelog is unnecessary. README.md
• There is a user-facing docs PR against https://github.com/Kong/docs.konghq.com - PUT DOCS PR HERE

Issue reference

Fix #[issue number]

[fffonion]

good run https://github.com/Kong/kong/actions/runs/8846615210/job/24292964007?pr=12945

[dndx]

Thanks for the effort @fffonion .

[team-gateway-bot]

Cherry-pick failed for master, because it was unable to cherry-pick the commit(s).

Please cherry-pick the changes locally.

git remote add upstream https://github.com/kong/kong-ee
git fetch upstream master
git worktree add -d .worktree/cherry-pick-12945-to-master-to-upstream upstream/master
cd .worktree/cherry-pick-12945-to-master-to-upstream
git checkout -b cherry-pick-12945-to-master-to-upstream
ancref=$(git merge-base a5a61d645aad3107d4c742cf9537bb4d673c8fbe cb3d40c67b426ea6232dcdb1438794461a3f33dd)
git cherry-pick -x $ancref..cb3d40c67b426ea6232dcdb1438794461a3f33dd