Add to Rules page: "You've been banned... Now what?"

[preaction]

I feel like every time I've banned someone recently, for something minor, as a "Yes, I was serious about telling you to stop doing that," they do something afterward that makes me want to keep the ban permanently.

Since I (a) can't and (b) won't explain all the below in the moment (can't because flat-out explaining there's a magic spell to getting unbanned will lead to it being used disingenuously, won't because I hate repeating myself), I plan to add this to the Rules page, and a \banned` factoid to the bot.

These things seem self-evident to behaving in a polite society to me, but it is better to have this to point to when things go wrong. (which reminds me that I want to re-do our CoC and call it "Fostering a Community of Respect" and also explicitly include a "What not to do")

I'm sure there are more "What not to do", but I can't think of any at the moment.

I'm also not enamored of the heading "What not to do". "Things to avoid" maybe?

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If you are banned

So you've been banned. Now what should you do?

De-escalate.

This is the most important thing. You were removed from the channel because an op felt it was appropriate in order to de-escalate a situation (reasonable person principle applies here). Continuing to escalate the situation will only reinforce that decision.

It may be confusing, it may be hurtful and embarrassing, but demonstrating calm and rationality will help make sure that the situation can be resolved quickly.

Take a few minutes, drink a glass of water, count to 1 million by powers of 2 (2, 4, 8, 16, 32, 64, ...), and then come back to...

Understand

If you don't understand why you were banned, ask. Go to the #css-ops channel, or private message the op who banned you, but remember: De-escalate.

As with everything, be respectful. A simple misunderstanding can be cleared up quickly, but only if everyone can understand each other. It's hard to understand someone when they are being disrespectful.

Understand that the op's job is the maintenance of a safe, welcoming, and respectful forum for help and discussion. You were banned because they have doubts about that. Being allowed back in means demonstrating that you understand why you were banned, even if it was just a misunderstanding.

Apologize

Apologies are a way to put misunderstandings to rest and move on. This is last because apologizing without understanding is meaningless. This is the most important thing. Hubris and stubbornness do not demonstrate a desire to help create a safe, welcoming, respectful environment, so apologize.

What not to do

Keeping in line with the guidelines above, here are explicit examples of what not to do:

Do not immediately ask to be unbanned

Even after de-escalating, understanding, and apologizing, explicitly asking to be unbanned is a red flag. If it was a misunderstanding, you may get unbanned immediately. If the op feels that there needs to be time to recover, you may not. Asking will not change that, though how you ask could. To be safe, don't ask.