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<!DOCTYPE html PUBLIC "-//W3C//DTD XHTML 1.0 Transitional//EN" "http://www.w3.org/TR/xhtml1/DTD/xhtml1-transitional.dtd">
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<p> <span style="text-decoration: underline;">news</span> :<a href="music.html"> music </a>: <a href="shows.html">shows</a> :<a href="artwork.html"> artwork </a>:<a href="contact.html"> contact </a></p></div>
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<h2>Tour Update</h2><p style="margin-bottom: 0in;"> Recently, you may have heard about
Geoff, who has played drums in our band. Geoff will not be coming on
tour with us in Europe. We want to clear up any confusion about the
issue and explain our choices.</p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in;"> </p>
<a href="news2.html"></a><p style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><a href="news2.html">For Geoff's personal statements about this, go here.</a></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in;"> </p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in;"></p>
<p style="text-indent: 0.15in; margin-bottom: 0in;">Geoff had sex with
several people without telling them he had herpes. This is
unacceptable behavior. When one of the people he did this to called
him out for it, we got in touch with them to ask how they wanted us
to handle the situation. Through those discussions, we helped create
an accountability process for Geoff. The conclusion was that they
were comfortable with us going to Europe, as long as we informed the
people we would be staying with about Geoff’s actions. Geoff also
committed to not having any sexual interactions on the tour, and to
continuing to participate in discussions about his behavior. We sent
out a letter about the situation to promoters booking our shows and
to those we might stay with.</p>
<p style="text-indent: 0.15in; margin-bottom: 0in;">Geoff has been
talking with friends, partners, ex-partners, and other people to let
everyone know what happened and what he is doing to change his
behavior. He has publicly taken responsibility for his mistakes and
says he wants to do better. Because of this, we were willing to
continue playing with Geoff, as long as it didn’t violate the
wishes of those he hurt.</p>
<p style="text-indent: 0.15in; margin-bottom: 0in;">Meanwhile, George
from the band Fall of Efrafra made a public statement asking people
not to book or support our band because of what Geoff did. George
never contacted us or the people Geoff hurt—he was only speaking
for his own opinions, as a person who had heard about the situation.</p>
<p style="text-indent: 0.15in; margin-bottom: 0in;">We feel it is
irresponsible for George (or anyone else not directly affected by
Geoff’s behavior) to tell people how to handle this situation.
Solidarity with those Geoff hurt means respecting and prioritizing
their wishes. By trying to determine what should happen
himself—without knowing their wishes—George took power into his
own hands rather than returning it to those who had been hurt.</p>
<p style="text-indent: 0.15in; margin-bottom: 0in;">After George’s
statement went out, Geoff decided not to go on tour. We support him
in this decision. Trying to learn from his mistakes and answer to the
needs of those he hurt is already a lot of work. It is unrealistic to
think Geoff could do these things responsibly while also addressing
the public statements put out by people like George.</p>
<p style="text-indent: 0.15in; margin-bottom: 0in;">Below is a
statement that we were working on before Geoff decided not to go on
tour. It is still useful to share because it offers important context
about how we are approaching this.</p>
<p style="text-indent: 0.15in; margin-bottom: 0in;">We apologize for
not making a public statement earlier. The people Geoff hurt had not
asked for us to, and it was a higher priority for us to communicate
with them and focus on Geoff’s accountability process.
Unfortunately, although it takes a long time to put together a
responsible public statement, it takes very little time for a rumor
to travel the internet. As a community, we have to be careful that
“public relations” and posturing do not take priority over mature
responses to these issues.</p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in;"> Please get in touch if you have any
questions: [email protected]</p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><br />
</p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in;">//</p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in;">[From our earlier statement:]</p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><br />
</p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in;">Why would you continue to be in Geoff’s
life after he fucked up?</p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><br />
</p>
<p style="text-indent: 0.15in; margin-bottom: 0in;"> Geoff fucked up in a particularly big,
public way: hurting several people across the country and waiting to
deal with his mistakes until he was publicly called out, rather than
taking the initiative to address the situation with each person on
his own.</p>
<p style="text-indent: 0.15in; margin-bottom: 0in;"> This is unacceptable.</p>
<p style="text-indent: 0.15in; margin-bottom: 0in;"> We believe that open dialogue about
sexual health history and concerns about sexual health are an
important part of consenting sexual interactions. People have such
different ideas of what constitutes acceptable risk, what constitutes
safer sex, and what aspects of one’s sexual health history are
relevant to share, that it is unacceptable to make assumptions about
what is okay for someone else.</p>
<p style="text-indent: 0.15in; margin-bottom: 0in;"> Everyone fucks up—and not everyone
gets called out when they do—but we are disappointed that Geoff
waited until he was called out to deal with this, rather than opening
dialogue about this beforehand. However, we don’t simply believe in
exiling people from our lives when they make mistakes. Practically,
that just pushes people, with all of their problematic behaviors,
into other people’s communities and lives. We believe in “fighting
where we stand”; we believe it is the responsibility of the friends
of the person who fucked up to hold them accountable and work through
their hurtful behaviors with them.</p>
<p style="text-indent: 0.15in; margin-bottom: 0in;"> Geoff’s reaction to being called out
informs how we interact with him now. Geoff is taking on the project
of being responsive to the needs of those he hurt. He has been open
to hearing about how he fucked up, and he seems genuinely invested in
changing his hurtful behaviors.</p>
<p style="text-indent: 0.15in; margin-bottom: 0in;"> As his bandmates and friends, we’re
committed to making sure that Geoff continues to act according to the
wishes of those he hurt and that he continues to learn from this
until he can develop a healthier relationship to sex and sexual
health. We’re also taking time to reflect on what opportunities we
might have missed to address related issues with Geoff in the past.
We welcome perspective and feedback from Geoff’s friends and
acquaintances—especially those directly affected by his
relationships to women and sexuality.</p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><br />
</p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><br />
</p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in;">How do you know you are making the
right choices about Geoff’s accountability process?</p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><br />
</p>
<p style="text-indent: 0.15in; margin-bottom: 0in;">We don’t believe
that there are choices for Geoff’s accountability process that are
“objectively” the right ones. We feel uncertain about the choices
we are making, but the important thing is that we feel good about the
process we used to make those choices and about the dynamics between
the members of this band and the people Geoff hurt. Responding to the
needs of the people Geoff hurt is our top priority.
</p>
<p style="text-indent: 0.15in; margin-bottom: 0in;">We are working on
models for real accountability, and we hope that people can look at
how we are doing things, rather than simply the end product of our
choices.</p>
<p style="text-indent: 0.15in; margin-bottom: 0in;"><br />
</p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><br />
</p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in;">What is our vision of restorative
justice?</p>
<p style="text-indent: 0.15in; margin-bottom: 0in;"><br />
</p>
<p style="text-indent: 0.15in; margin-bottom: 0in;">We would like to
see our communities develop a nuanced approach to working with people
on their accountability processes. It doesn’t make sense for every
person who is publicly called out for fucking up in any way to go
through the same steps. Every situation is different—whether
someone is called out publicly or privately.</p>
<p style="text-indent: 0.15in; margin-bottom: 0in;">We aspire to a
culture where being accountable is a normal part of life, where we
can continue with our lives while we deal with our shit—not
prioritizing one over the other, but understanding them as
interdependent on each other—without being made out to be monsters
or heroes. Neither of those extremes is a useful way to make someone
feel, and neither of them creates a culture in which people are
likely to call each other out or be open to being called out.</p>
<p style="text-indent: 0.15in; margin-bottom: 0in;">When some people
tell the world how to respond to a person’s harmful behavior
without consulting the people who were directly hurt by that
behavior, they discourage other people from calling out those who
hurt them. If people know they won’t be able to control the
consequences of calling someone out, they may be hesitant to do it.</p>
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