optical character recognition
-Plutarch's essay on flatterers is addressed to C. - Julius Antiochus Philopappus, a descendant of the - kings of Commagene, whose monument still stands - on the Museum Hill at Athens. He was a patron - of art and literature, and on friendly terms with - Plutarch.a
-The essay is not concerned with the impecunious - and dependent adherents (parasites) of the rich, but - with the adroit flatterers of a higher standing, who - worm their way into the confidence of great men, and - exercise a pernicious influence upon them. That - Philopappus may have stood in need of such a - warning may readily be inferred.
-The essay, at the close, digresses into a disquisition on frank speech (
Plato Laws, 731 D, E.For Love is blind as regards the
- beloved,
- Ibid.; cited also in Moralia, 90 A, 92 E, and 1000 A.Laws, 730 C.of all good for gods and
- all good for men,
then the flatterer is in all likelihood an
- enemy to the gods and particularly to the Pythian god. For the flatterer
- always takes a position over against the maxim Know thyself,
- by creating in every man deception towards himself and ignorance both of
- himself and of the good and evil that concerns himself ; the good he renders
- defective and incomplete, and the evil wholly impossible to amend.
If the flatterer, then, like most other evils, attacked solely or mostly the
- ignoble and mean, he would not be so formidable or so hard to guard against.
- But the fact is, that as bore-worms make their entrance chiefly into the
- delicate and sweetscented kinds of wood, so it is ambitious, honest, and
- promising characters that receive and nourish the flatterer as he hangs upon
- them. Moreover, just as Simonides Poet. Lyr. Gr. iii. 393.The rearing of horses consorts not
- with Zacynthus, But with wheat-bearing acres,
so we observe that flattery
- does not attend upon poor, obscure, or unimportant persons, but makes itself
- a stumbling-block and a pestilence in great houses and great affairs, and
- oftentimes overturns kingdoms and principalities. Wherefore it is no small
- task, nor a matter requiring but slight foresight, to subject it to
- examination, so that, being thoroughly exposed, it may be prevented from
- injuring or discrediting friendship. Vermin depart from dying persons and
- forsake their bodies, as the blood, from which the vermin derive their
- sustenance, loses its vitality ; and so flatterers are never so much
-
- Close by its side have the Graces and Longing established their dwelling,
- and not merely for one who is in misfortune Theogony, 64.'Tis sweet to gaze into a kind
- man's eyes,
as Euripides Ion, 732; again cited in Moralia, 69 A.Moralia, 126 D, 697 D, and 1010 C.
One might say, then, that it is difficult to distinguish flatterer and
- friend, if neither pleasure nor praise shows the difference ; indeed, in
- services and courtesies we may often observe that friendship is outstripped
- by flattery. How can it be helped, will
-
- Cf. Demosthenes, Against Conon, 16 (p. 1262).By a stab through his ribs that hit me in my belly
-
; nor those who throng round a rich man's table whom Not fire, nor
- steel, Nor bronze can keep From coming each day to dine.
nor the
- flatteresses in Cyprus, Flatterers of Eupolis according to Plutarch, Moralia, 778 E; cf. Kock, Com. Att. Frag. i. p. 303.Cf. Athenaeus, 256 D.ladderesses,
because by prostrating
- themselves they afforded by their bodies a means for the women of the royal
- household to mount their carriages.
Against whom, then, must we be on our guard ? Against the man who does not
- seem to flatter and will not admit that he does so, the man who is never to
- be found hanging round the kitchen, never caught noting the shadow on the
- sun-dial to see if it is getting towards dinner-time, never gets drunk and
- drops down in a heap on the floor ; he is usually sober, he is always busy,
- and must have a hand in everything ; he has a mind to be in all secrets, and
- in general plays the part of friend with the gravity of a tragedian and
-
- Republic, 361 A.it is the height of dishonesty to seem to be honest when one is
- not,
and so the flattery which we must regard as difficult to
- deal with is that which is hidden, not that which is openly avowed, that
- which is serious, not that which is meant as a joke. For such flattery
- infects even true friendship with distrust, unless we give heed, for in many
- respects it coincides with friendship. Now it is true that Gobryas, having
- forced his way into a dark room along with the fleeing Magian, and finding
- himself engaged in a desperate struggle, called upon Darius, who had stopped
- beside them and was in doubt what to do, to strike even though he should
- pierce them both Down with a foe though a friend go too,
- Trag. Graec. Frag., Adesp. No. 362.
For the very reason, however, that friendship is the most pleasant thing in
- the world, and because nothing else gives greater delight, the flatterer
- allures by means of pleasures and concerns himself
-
- Achilles' self thou art and
- not his son.
But the most unprincipled trick of all that he has is this :
- perceiving that frankness of speech, by common report and belief, is the
- language of friendship especially (as an animal has its peculiar cry), and,
- on the other hand, that lack of frankness is unfriendly and ignoble, he does
- not allow even this to escape imitation, but, just as clever cooks employ
- bitter extracts and astringent flavourings to remove the cloying effect of
- sweet things, so flatterers apply a frankness which is not genuine or
- beneficial, but which, as it were, winks while it frowns, and does nothing
- but tickle. For these reasons, then, the man is hard to detect, as is the
- case with some animals to which Nature has given the faculty of changing
- their hue, so that they exactly conform to
- Trag. Graec. Frag., Adesp. No. 363; quoted by Plutarch also in the Life of Alcibiades, 203 C.Phaedrus, 239 D.adorning himself with alien colours and forms for want of any of
- his own.
-
Let us, then, consider this matter from the beginning. We have previously
- said that with most people the beginning of friendship is their congenial
- disposition and nature, which welcomes the same habits and traits, as nearly
- as may be, and takes delight in the same pursuits, activities, and
- avocations ; on the subject of this it has also been said: An old man hath
- the sweetest tongue for old, And child for child, and woman suits her kind,
- A sick man suits the sick ; misfortune's thrall Hath charms for him who hath
- just met mischance.
So then the flatterer, knowing that when people take
- delight in the same things it is only natural that they find enjoyment and
- satisfaction in each other's company, adopts this course in making his first
- attempts to approach each victim and to secure a lodgement near him; he acts
- as though the man were some animal running at large in a pasture, Cf. Nauck, Trag. Graec. Frag., Adesp. No. 364, and Kock, Comm. Att. Frag. iii. 606.Republic, 493 A.
What, then, is the method of exposing him, and by what differences is it
- possible to detect that he is not really like-minded, or even in a fair way
- to become like-minded, but is merely imitating such a character ? In the
- first place, it is necessary to observe the uniformity and permanence of his
- tastes, whether he always takes delight in the same things, and commends
- always the same things, and whether he directs and ordains his own life
- according to one pattern, as becomes a free-born man and a lover of
- congenial friendship and intimacy ; for such is the conduct of a friend. But
- the flatterer, since he has no abiding-place of character to dwell in, and
- since he leads a life not of his own choosing but another's, moulding and
- adapting himself to suit another, is not simple, not one, but variable and
- many in one, and, like water that is poured into one receptacle after
- another, he is constantly on the move from place to place, and changes his
- shape to fit his receiver. The capture of the ape, as it seems, is effected
- while he is trying to imitate man by moving and dancing as the man does :
- but the flatterer himself leads on and entices others, not imitating all
- persons alike, but with one he joins in dancing and singing, and with
- another in wrestling and getting covered with dust; if he gets hold of a
- huntsman fond of the chase, he follows on, all but shouting out the words of
- Phaedra Hippolytus, 218.Ye gods, but I yearn to encourage the hounds, As I haste on the
- track of the dapple deer.
- Then
- stands forth the wily Odysseus stripped of his tatters;
off goes the
- scholar's gown, the beard is mowed down like an unprofitable crop ; it's
- wine-coolers and glasses now, bursts of laughter while walking in the
- streets, and frivolous jokes against the devotees of philosophy. Just so at
- Syracuse, it is said, after Plato had arrived, and an insane ardour for
- philosophy laid hold on Dionysius, the king's palace was filled with dust by
- reason of the multitude of men that were drawing their geometrical diagrams
- in it: but when Plato fell out of favour, and Dionysius, shaking himself
- free from philosophy, returned post-haste to wine and women and foolish talk
- and licentiousness, then grossness and forgetfulness and fatuity seized upon
- the whole people as though they had undergone a transformation in Circe's
- house. A further testimony is to be found in the action of the great
- flatterers and the demagogues, of whom the greatest was Alcibiades. At
- Athens he indulged in frivolous jesting, kept a racing-stable, and led a
- life full of urbanity and agreeable enjoyment; in Lacedaemon he kept his
- hair cropped close, he wore the coarsest clothing, he bathed in cold water ;
- in Thrace he was a fighter and a hard drinker : but when he came to
-
- Od. xxii. 1.
The changes of the flatterer, which are like those of a cuttle-fish, may be
- most easily detected if a man pretends that he is very changeable himself
- and disapproves the mode of life which he previously approved, and suddenly
- shows a liking for actions, conduct, or language which used to offend him.
- For he will see that the flatterer is nowhere constant, has no character of
- his own, that it is not because of his own feelings that he loves and hates,
- and rejoices and grieves, but that, like a mirror, he only catches the
- images of alien feelings, lives and movements. For he is the kind of man,
- who, if you chance to blame one of your friends before him, will exclaim,
- You've been slow in discovering the man's character; for my part
- I took a dislike to him long ago.
But if, on the next occasion,
- you change about again and commend the man, then you may be sure the
- flatterer will avow that he shares your pleasure and thanks you for the
- man's sake, and that he believes in him. If you say that you must adopt some
- other sort of life, as, for example, by changing from public life to ease
- and quietness, then he says, Yes, we
-
-
But
- again if you appear to be bent on public activity and speaking, then he
- chimes in, Your thoughts are worthy of you; ease is a pleasant
- thing, but it is inglorious and mean.
Without more ado we must
- say to such a man : Stranger, you seem to me now a different man than
- aforetime.
I have no use for a friend that shifts about just as I do and
- nods assent just as I do (for my shadow better performs that function), but
- I want one that tells the truth as I do, and decides for himself as I do.
- This is one method, then, of detecting the flatterer ; Odyssey, xvi. 181.
but here follows a second point of difference which ought to be observed, in
- his habits of imitation. The true friend is neither an imitator of
- everything nor ready to commend everything, but only the best things ; His
- nature 'tis to share not hate but love,
as Sophocles Antigone, 523.Cf. 26 B, supra.
- Poet. Lyr. Gr. iii. 669.His
- body is all belly ; eyes that look All ways ; a beast that travels on its
- teeth.
For such a description is that of a parasite, one of The saucepan
- friends and friends postprandial,
as Eupolis Com. Att. Frag. i. 349.
However, let us reserve this matter for its proper place in our discussion.
- But let us not omit to note this clever turn which the flatterer has in his
- imitations, that if he does imitate any of the good qualities of the person
- whom he flatters, he gives him always the upper hand. The reason is this :
- between true friends there is neither emulation nor envy, but whether their
- share of success is equal or less, they
-
- You laughed inopportunely,
he says, but I
- nearly died of laughing.
But in good things it is just the
- reverse. The flatterer says that he himself is a good runner, but the other
- man simply flies ; that he himself is a fairly good horseman, but
- what is that compared with this Centaur ?
- I am a natural born poet, and I write verse that is not at all bad,
- yet
a Thus at the same
- time he thinks to show that the other's tastes are excellent by imitating
- them, and that his prowess is unrivalled by letting himself be outdone.
- Thus, then, in the flatterer's attempts to conform himself to another,
- differences like these are found which distinguish him from a friend. To Zeus belongs the thunder, not to me.
- cf. Bergk, Poet. Lyr. Gr. iii. p. 736.
Since, however, as has been said before, the element of pleasure is common to
- both (for the good man takes no less delight in his friends than the bad man
- in his flatterers), let us now, if you will, draw the distinction between
- them in this respect. The distinction lies in referring the pleasure to its
- end. Look at it in this way: There is a pleasant odour in a perfume, there
- is a pleasant odour in a medicine.
-
- Joy they had in converse, speaking each to the other
and Il. ii. 643.Else there
- were nothing Which could have parted us twain in the midst of our love and
- enjoyment.
But the whole work and final aim of the flatterer is always to
- be serving up some spicy and highlyseasoned jest or prank or story, incited
- by pleasure and to incite pleasure. Od. iv. 178.Gorgias, 465 ff.Polium, pungent to smell, whose stench is surely most
- horrid,
or he compounds some hellebore and makes a man drink it down,
- setting neither in this case the disagreeable nor in the other the agreeable
- as his final aim, but endeavouring through either course to bring his
- patient to one state—that which is for his good. So it is with the friend;
- sometimes by constantly exalting and gladdening another with praise and
- graciousness he leads him on toward that which is honourable, as did he who
- said Theriaca, 64. On the herb polium see Pliny, Natural History, xxi. 7 (21). 44 and xxi. 20 (84), 145.Teucer, dear to my heart, son of Telamon, prince of the people. Aim
- your other shafts like this,
and Il. viii. 281.How then, I ask, could I ever forget
- Odysseus the godlike ?
Or again, when there is need of reprehension, he
- assails with stinging words and all the frankness of a guardian: Ibid. x. 243, and Od. i. 65.Foolish you
- are, Menelaus, cherished by Zeus; nor is needed Any such folly as this.
- There are times, too, when he combines deeds with words, as did Menedemus,
- who chastened the profligate and disorderly son of his friend Asclepiades by
- shutting the door upon him and not speaking to him ; and Arcesilaus forbade
- Baton his lecture-room when the latter had composed a comic line on
- Cleanthes, and it was only when Baton had placated Cleanthes and was
- repentant that Arcesilaus became reconciled with him. For one ought to hurt
- a friend
-
- Il. vii. 109.Agesilaus, 11, 5.Moralia, 218 B.How can
- he be a good man, who is not harsh even with rascals ?
-
They say that the gad-fly finds lodgement with cattle close by the ear, as
- does the tick with dogs ; so also the flatterer takes hold of ambitious
- men's ears with his words of praise, and once settled there, he is hard to
- dislodge. Wherefore in this matter especially it is necessary to keep the
- judgement awake and on the alert, to see whether the praise is for the
- action or for the man. It is for the action if they praise us in absence
- rather than in our presence ; also if they, too, cherish the same desires
- and
- they changed the commonly accepted meaning of words when applied
- to deeds as they thought proper. Reckless daring came to be regarded as
- devoted courage, watchful waiting as specious cowardice, moderation as a
- craven's pretext, a keen understanding for everything as want of energy
- to undertake anything.
And so in attempts at flattery we should
- be observant and on our guard against prodigality being called
- liberality,
cowardice self-preservation,
- impulsiveness quickness,
stinginess
- frugality,
the amorous man companionable and
- amiable,
the irascible and overbearing spirited,
- the insignificant and meek kindly.
So Plato Republic, 474 E; cf. supra 45 A.fetching,
one with a hooked nose kingly,
- dark persons manly,
and fair persons children of the
- gods
; while honey-hued
is purely the creation
- of a lover who calls sallowness by this endearing term, and cheerfully puts
- up with it. And yet an ugly man who is made to believe that he is handsome,
- or a short man that he is tall, is not for long a party to the deception,
- and the injury that he suffers is slight and not irremediable. But as for
- the praise which accustoms a man to treat vices as virtues, so that he feels
- not disgusted with them but delighted, which also takes away all shame for
- his errors—this is the sort that brought afflictions upon the people of
- Sicily, by calling the savage cruelty of Dionysius and of Phalaris
- hatred of wickedness
; this it is that ruined Egypt, cf. Polybius, v. 34.piety
and devotion to the gods
; this it
- is that all but subverted and destroyed the character of the Romans in those
- days, by trying to extenuate Antony's Life of Antony, chap. ix. (920).blithe and kind-hearted actions due to his
- generous treatment at the hands of Power and Fortune.
What else
- was it that fastened the mouthpiece and flute upon Ptolemy cf. Strabo xvii. 11 (p. 796).
For this reason we must be especially on our guard against the flatterer in
- the matter of his praises. But of this he is not unconscious himself, and he
- is adroit at guarding against the breath of suspicion. If, for example, he
- gets hold of some coxcomb, or a rustic wearing a thick coat of skin, he
- indulges his raillery without limit, just as Strouthias, in the play, walks
- all over Bias, and takes a fling at his stupidity by such praise as this :
- More you have drunk Than royal Alexander,
and Flatterer of Menander; Kock, Com. Att. Frag. iii., Menander, No. 293.Ha ! ha ! A good one on the
- Cyprian,
But as for the more clever people, he observes that
-
- Ibid. No. 29.Approaches noiseless as to catch a beast,
touching and
- handling him. Now he will report other people's praise of him, quoting
- another's words as public speakers do, how he had the pleasure of meeting in
- the market-place with some strangers or elderly men, who recounted many
- handsome things of him and expressed their admiration ; then again, he will
- fabricate and concoct some trivial and false accusation against him, which
- he feigns to have heard from others, and comes up in hot haste to inquire
- when it was he said this or when it was he did that. And if the man denies
- the thing, as he naturally will, then on the instant the flatterer seizes
- him and launches him into a flood of praise : I wondered if you did
- speak ill of any of your good friends, since it is not your nature to
- speak ill even of your enemies, or if you did make any attempt on
- other's property when you give away so much of your own.
-
Others, like painters who set off bright and brilliant colours by laying- on
- dark and sombre tints close beside them, covertly praise and foster the
- vices to which their victims are addicted by condemning and abusing, or
- disparaging and ridiculing, the opposite qualities. Among the profligate
- they condemn frugality as rusticity
; and among avaricious
- evil-doers, whose wealth is gained from shameful and unscrupulous deeds,
- they condemn contented independence and honesty as the want
-
-
; but
- when they associate with the easy-going and quiet people who avoid the
- crowded centres of the cities, they are not ashamed to call public life
- a troublesome meddling with others' affairs,
and
- ambition unprofitable vainglory.
Often enough a way to
- flatter a public speaker is to disparage a philosopher, and with lascivious
- women great repute is gained by those who brand faithful and loving wives as
- cold
and countrified.
But here is the
- height of depravity, in that the flatterers do not spare their own selves.
- For as wrestlers put their own bodies into a lowly posture in order to throw
- their opponents, so flatterers, by blaming themselves, pass surreptitiously
- into admiration for their neighbours : I am a miserable coward on the
- water, I have no stomach for hardships, I go mad with anger when anyone
- speaks ill of me ; but for this man here,
he says,
- nothing has any terrors, nothing any hardship, but he is a singular
- person ; he bears everything with good humour, everything without
- distress.
But if there be somebody who imagines himself
- possessed of great sense, and desires to be downright and uncompromising,
- who because he poses as an upright man, forsooth, always uses as a defence
- and shield this line : Son of Tydeus, praise me not too much, nor chide me,
- the accomplished flatterer does not approach him by this road, but there is
- another device to apply to a man of this sort. Accordingly the flatterer
- comes to consult with him about his own affairs, as with one obviously his
- superior in wisdom, and says that while he has other friends more intimate
- yet he
-
- Il. x. 249.For
- where can we resort who are in need of counsel, and whom can we trust ?
-
Then having heard whatever the other may say, he asserts that he
- has received, not counsel, but the word of authority ; and with that he
- takes his departure. And if he observes that the man lays some claim to
- skill in letters, he gives him some of his own writings, and asks him to
- read and correct them. Mithridates, the king, posed as an amateur physician,
- and some of his companions offered themselves to be operated upon and
- cauterized by him, thus flattering by deeds and not by words ; for he felt
- that their confidence in him was a testimony to his skill. In many a guise
- do the gods appear,
and this class of dissimulated praise, which calls for
- a more cunning sort of precaution, is to be brought to light by deliberately
- formulating absurd advice and suggestions, and by making senseless
- corrections. For if he fails to contradict anything, if he assents to
- everything and accepts it, and at each suggestion exclaims Alcestis, the Andromache, the Bacchae, and the Helena, of Euripides.good
-
and excellent,
he makes it perfectly plain that he
- The password asks, to gain some other end,
his real desire being to praise
- his victim and to puff him up all the more. Trag. Graec. Frag., Adesp. No. 365.
Moreover, just as some have defined painting as silent poetry,Moralia, 346 F, where it is quoted in full. The full form is found also supra, 17 F.Cf. Moralia, 472 A.Do
- you see these boys here who are grinding the body for my colours ? They
- were all attention while you kept silent, and admired your purple robe
- and golden ornaments, but now they are laughing at you because you have
- undertaken to speak of matters which you have never learned.
And
- Solon, cf. Plutarch, Life of Solon, xxvii. (93 B).
Again, some people will not even listen to the Stoics, when they call the
- wise man at the same time rich, handsome, well-born, and a king ; but
- flatterers declare of the rich man that he is at the same time an orator and
- a poet, and, if he will, a painter and a musician, and swift of foot and
- strong of body ; and they allow themselves to be thrown in wrestling and
- outdistanced in running, as Crison of Himera was outdistanced in a foot-race
- with Alexander, but Alexander saw through the deception and was indignant. Cf. Moralia, 471 F.if he
- were sure to make his field productive and fruitful by lauding it,
- should he not then seem to be in error if he did not do this rather than
- give himself the trouble to dig it over ? And so, too, a man would not
- be an improper subject for praise, if by virtue of praise alone he
- becomes profitable and abundantly productive of good.
But the
- truth is that a field is
-
-
Enough, then, on this topic. Let us, as the next step, look at the subject of
- frankness. As Patroclus, when he equipped himself with the armour of
- Achilles, and drove forth his horses to battle, did not venture to touch the
- Pelian spear, but left that, and that only, behind, so the flatterer, when
- he arrays himself to masquerade in the badges and insignia proper to a
- friend, ought to leave frankness alone as the one thing not to be touched or
- imitated, as though it were a choice piece of equipment, Heavy and big and
- solid,
belonging to friendship only. But since they shrink from the
- exposure that awaits them in laughter and wine, and in jest and jollity, and
- their next effort is to raise their business to a serious Il. xvi. 14.High-brow
; cf. the note in Allinson, Menander in the L.C.L., p. 316.Com. Att. Frag. iii. p. 148, or in Allinson, Menander in the L.C.L., p. 458.Cf. Plutarch, Life of Phocion, chap. ii. (p. 742 B). The fact that honey quickly destroys pathogenic germs, like those of typhoid, has recently received scientific demonstration; cf. Bulletin 252 of the Colorado Agricultural College.infra.
- cf. Athenaeus, xii. 73 (p. 549 D).
There is still another class of persons, even more unscrupulous than these,
- who employ this frankness of speech and reprehension of theirs in order to
- give pleasure. For example, Agis, the Argive, on an occasion when Alexander
- gave great gifts to a jester, in his jealousy and chagrin shouted out,
- Heavens, what gross absurdity !
The king turned upon
- him angrily and said, What's that you say ?
Whereupon he
- replied, I confess that I feel troubled and indignant at seeing that
- all you sons of Zeus alike show favour to flatterers and ridiculous
- persons. For Heracles had pleasure in
-
-
And once, when Tiberius Caesar had come
- into the Senate, one of the flatterers arose and said that they ought, being
- free men, to speak frankly, and not to dissemble or refrain from discussing
- anything that might be for the general good. Having thus aroused general
- attention, in the ensuing silence, as Tiberius gave ear, he said,
- Listen, Caesar, to the charges which we are all making against you, but
- which no one dares to speak out. You do not take proper care of
- yourself, you are prodigal of your bodily strength, you are continually
- wearing it out in your anxieties and labours in our behalf, you give
- yourself no respite either by day or by night.
As he drew out a
- long string of such phrases, they say that the orator Cassius Severus
- remarked, Such frankness as this will be the death of this man !
-
-
All that is really a minor matter. But we come now to matters that are a
- serious problem, and do great damage to the foolish, when the flatterer's
- accusations are directed against emotions and weaknesses the contrary to
- those that a person really has. For example, Himerius the flatterer used to
- vilify a man, the most illiberal and avaricious of the rich men at Athens,
- as a careless profligate destined to starve miserably together with his
- children. Or again, on the other hand, they will reproach profligate and
- lavish spenders with meanness and sordidness (as Titus Petronius did with
- Nero) ; or they will bid rulers who deal savagely and fiercely with their
- subjects to lay aside their excessive clemency and their inopportune and
- unprofitable pity. Very like to these also is the man who pretends to be on
- his
-
- For who is this fellow, or what brilliant thing
- has he said or done ?
Especially in regard to love affairs they
- beset their victims and add fuel to their fire. Likewise if they see that
- any are in disagreement with their brothers, or that they contemn their
- parents, or deal scornfully with their wives, they do not admonish or
- arraign them, but try to intensify such feelings. You have no proper
- appreciation of yourself,
they say, and, You have
- yourself to blame for this, because you always affect such an obsequious
- and humble air.
And if, as a result of temper and jealousy, a
- feeling of irritation is engendered toward a mistress or another man's wife
- with whom the man has a love-affair, in comes flattery at once with a
- splendid frankness, adding fire to fire, pleading for justice, accusing the
- lover of many unloving, obdurate, and reprehensible actions : O ingrate,
- after crowding kiss on kiss !
So the friends of Antony, who was consumed
- with love of the Egyptian woman,Myrmidons of Aeschylus. Nauck, Trag. Graec. Frag., Aesch., No. 135; cf. also Plutarch, Moralia, 715 C.Cf. Plutarch, Life of Antony, chap. liii. (940 D).For the woman, forsaking so great a kingdom and so many happy
- employments, is wearing her life away, as she follows with you on your
- marches in the guise of a concubine;
-
He was pleased at being taken to task for such
- wrongdoing, and taking more pleasure in those who accused him than he did
- even in any who commended him, he failed to see that by this seeming
- admonition he was being perversely drawn towards her. Such frankness is like
- the love bites of lascivious women ; it arouses and tickles the sense of
- pleasure by pretending to cause pain. So undiluted wine is of itself a
- helpful remedy for the hemlock poison, but if they add it to hemlock and mix
- the two together they make the potency of the drug quite beyond remedy,
- since it is rapidly carried to the heart by the heat. In like manner the
- unscrupulous, being well aware that frankness is a great remedy for
- flattery, flatter by means of frankness itself. It is for this reason that
- Bias did not give a good answer to the man who asked him But the mind in
- your breast is proof against enchantment,
and you are indifferent to
- her distress.Od. x. 329.What is the
- fiercest animal ?
when he replied, Of the wild animals
- the tyrant, and of the domesticated the flatterer.
For it were
- nearer the truth to say, that among flatterers those who hover about the
- bath and the table are domesticated, whereas he that extends his meddling
- and slander and malice like tentacles into the bedchamber and the women's
- privacy, is an uncivilized brute and most hard to handle.
One mode of protection, as it would seem, is to realize and remember always
- that our soul has its two sides : on the one side are truthfulness, love for
- what is honourable, and power to reason, and on the other side
- irrationality, love of falsehood, and the emotional element; the friend is
- always found on the better side as counsel and advocate, trying, after
-
- Are you angry ? Punish then.
- Do you crave a thing ? Then buy it.
- Are you afraid ? Let's run away.
- Have you a suspicion ? Then give it credence.
But if it is
- hard to detect the flatterer when he is engaged with these major emotions,
- inasmuch as our power to reason is deranged by their vehemence and
- magnitude, yet with the lesser ones he will better give a vantage, since his
- behaviour here will be the same. For example, if a man is afraid that he may
-
-
Let us come without more ado to the topic of services and ministrations ; for
- it is in these that the flatterer brings about a great confusion and
- uncertainty in regard to the difference between himself and the friend,
- because he appears to be brisk and eager in everything and never to make an
- excuse. For the character of a friend, like the language of
- truth,
is, as Euripides Phoenissae, 469, 472.simple,
- plain, and unaffected, whereas that of the flatterer, in very truth
-
-
Now to people of sense these are manifestations, not of a pure nor a chaste
- friendship, but of a friendship that is more ready than it should be to
- solicit and embrace. We need first, however, to consider the difference
- shown by the two men in offering their services. It has been well said by
- writers before our time that a friend's offer takes this form : Yes, if I
- have the power, and if it can be accomplished,
while a flatterer's is like
- this : Il. xiv. 196; xviii. 427; Od. v. 90.Speak what you have in mind.
In fact the comic poets introduce on
- the stage characters of this sort:
- Il. xiv. 195; xviii. 426; Od. v. 89.
- Match me, Nicomachus,
- against that brute ; If I don't pulp his carcase with my whip And make his
- visage softer than a sponge.
In the second place, no friend enters into
- cooperation unless he has first been taken into consultation, and then only
- after he has examined the undertaking and agreed in setting it down as
- fitting or expedient; but if anyone concedes to the flatterer an opportunity
- to take part in examining and pronouncing upon some matter in hand, inasmuch
- as he not only desires to yield and give gratification, but also fears to
- afford suspicion that he may draw back and avoid the task, he gives way and
- adds his urgency to the other's desires. For it is not easy to find a
- wealthy man or a king who will say : Com. Att. Frag. iii. p. 432, Adespot. No. 125.Give me a beggar—and if he so will,
- Worse than a beggar—who, through love for me Leaves fear behind, and speaks
- his heart's belief;
but such people, like the tragedians, want to have a
- chorus of friends singing the same tune or a sympathetic audience to applaud
- them. This is the reason why Merope in the tragedy gives this advice : Ino of Euripides; Nauck, Trag. Graec. Frag., Eurip. No. 412.Have
- friends who are not yielding in their speech, But let your house be barred
- against the knaves Who try by pleasing you to win regard.
But such people
- generally do just the opposite ; they abominate those who are Erechtheus of Euripides; Nauck, Trag. Graec. Frag., Eurip. No. 362, xi. 18-20. There is no evidence, save this quotation, for Merope's appearance in the play, and it seems much more probably that the lines were spoken by Praxithea, the wife of Erechtheus.not
- yielding in speech,
who take a stand against them for their own
- good, while the knaves who try to win regard,
the
-
- houses barred,
but even within their secret emotions and
- concerns. The more simple-minded of such flatterers does not think it
- necessary or proper that he be taken into consultation regarding matters of
- this sort, but only that he be a ministrant and servant; whereas the more
- unscrupulous will do no more than to join in the deliberation, contracting
- his brows, and looking his assent, but says not a word. However, if the
- other man states his view, then he says, Gad, but you got a bit
- ahead of me ; I was just going to say that very thing.
Now the
- mathematicians tell us that surfaces and lines do not bend or extend or move
- of themselves, being imaginary conceptions without material substance, but
- that they bend and extend and change their position along with the bodies of
- which they are the boundaries : so, too, you shall detect the flatterer by
- his being always in agreement with his victim in words and expressions,
- —yes, in pleasures and in angry passions too—so that in these matters, at
- least, the difference is quite easy to detect. Still more is this evident in
- the manner of his ministrations. For a gracious act on the part of a friend
- is like a living thing : it has its most potent qualities deep within it,
- and there is nothing on the surface to suggest show or display ; but, as a
- physician cures without his patient's knowledge, so oftentimes a friend does
- a good turn by interceding or by settling, while the object of his
- solicitude knows nothing of it. Such a friend was Arcesilaus in all his
- dealings, and this was especially seen of him when he discovered the poverty
- of Apelles of Chios, who was ill; for on his next visit he came with twenty
- shillings, and taking a seat by the bed,
-
- There is nothing here but Empedocles' elements,
And with that he re-arranged his pillow, and,
- unobserved, slipped the money underneath. When the aged servingwoman
- discovered it, and in amazement announced her discovery to Apelles, he said
- with a laugh, Fire and water
- and earth and the gentle heights of ether.
But you are not even lying
- at ease.cf. Diels, Fragmente der Vorsokratiker, I. 230, i. 18.Arcesilaus contrived that fraud !
Moreover,
- the saying that children are born like their parents
- Cf. Hesiod, Works and Days, 235.It
- was nothing of any importance ; we merely voted that we and our cattle
- go without dinner for one day, and collected the amount.
Such
- graciousness is not only the mark of a generous spirit, but it is pleasanter
- for the recipients, since they feel that those who assist them suffer no
- great damage.
It is not therefore by the flatterer's offensiveness in his ministrations, or
- by his facile way of offering his services, that one can best learn to know
- his nature, but a better distinction may be found in the nature of his
- service, whether it is honourable or dishonourable, and whether its purpose
- is to give pleasure or help. For a friend will not, as Gorgias was wont to
- declare, expect his friend to support him in honest projects, and yet
- himself serve the other in many also that are dishonest, for he
-
- In virtue joins, and not in viciousness.
Much rather,
- therefore, will he try to turn his friend aside from what is unbecoming ;
- and if he cannot persuade him, then he may well retort with Phocion's remark
- Iphigenia at Aulis, 407.Moralia, 142 B, 188 F; Life of Phocion, chap. xxx. (755 B); and Life of Agis, chap. ii. (795 E).You cannot use me as both friend and
- flatterer,
that is as a friend and not a friend. For one should
- assist a friend in doing, not in misdoing, in advising, not in ill-devising,
- in supporting his conclusions, not his delusions, in sharing his mishaps,
- not his misdeeds. No, we would choose not even to have knowledge of our
- friends' dishonourable actions ; how then can we possibly choose to
- cooperate in them and to share in the unseemly conduct ? As the
- Lacedaemonians, defeated in battle by Antipater, in making terms of peace
- bade him prescribe any penalty he would, but nothing dishonourable, so a
- friend, if need befall for his services that involves expense, danger, or
- labour, is foremost in insisting, without excuse or hesitation, that he be
- called upon and that he do his share, but wherever disgrace goes with it, he
- is also foremost in begging to be left alone and spared from participation.
- But flattery, on the contrary, in arduous and dangerous ministrations fails
- you, and if you test it by sounding, it does not ring clear, but has an
- ignoble tone jangling with some excuse; but for any shameful, mean, or
- disreputable service you may use the flatterer as you will, and treat him as
- the dirt beneath your feet; and he thinks it nothing dreadful or insulting.
- You must have noticed the ape. He cannot guard the house like the dog, nor
- carry a load like the horse,
-
-
The great difference between flatterer and friend may be most clearly
- perceived by his disposition towards one's other friends. For a friend finds
- it most pleasant to love and be loved along with many others, and he is
- always constant in his endeavours that his friend shall have many friends De amicorum multitudine) to this subject (Moralia, 93 B-79 B).friends own everything in
- common
- Orestes, 735.Trudging afoot beside a Lydian chariot,
but because, as Simonides Life of Nicias, chap. i. (523 B). Cf. Bergk, Poet. Lyr. Gr. i. 469 (Frag. 206).Poet. Lyr. Gr. iii. 417 (Frag. 64) has adopted an amended reading.Hath not even lead to show 'Gainst gold refined and unalloyed.
- Whenever, then, the flatterer, who is but a light and deceptive plated-ware,
- is examined and closely compared with genuine and solid-wrought friendship,
- he does not stand the test, but he is exposed, and so he does the same thing
- as the man who had painted a wretched picture of some cocks. For the painter
- bade his servant scare all real cocks as far away as possible from the
- canvas ; and so the flatterer scares all real friends away, and does not
- allow them to come near ; or if he cannot accomplish this, he openly cringes
- to them, pays them attentions, and makes a great show of respect for them as
- for superiors, but secretly he is suggesting and spreading some sort of
- calumny ; and when secret talk has caused an irritating sore, even though he
- be not entirely successful at the outset, yet he remembers and observes the
- precept of Medius. This Medius was, if I may call him so, leader and skilled
- master of the choir of flatterers that danced attendance on Alexander, and
- were banded together against all good men. Now he urged them not to be
- afraid to assail and sting with their calumnies, pointing out that, even if
- the man who is stung succeeds in healing the wound, the scar of the calumny
- will still remain. In fact it was by such scars, or rather such gangrenes
-
- Cf. the first chapter of the essay, supra, 49 A.
Wherefore I now urge, as I did at the beginning of this treatise, that we
- eradicate from ourselves self-love and conceit. For these, by flattering us
- beforehand, render us less resistant to flatterers from without, since we
- are quite ready to receive them. But if, in obedience to the god, we learn
- that the precept, Know thyself,
is invaluable to each of us,
- and if at the same time we carefully review our own nature and upbringing
- and education, how in countless ways they fall short of true excellence, and
- have inseparably connected with them many a sad and heedless fault of word,
- deed, and feeling, we shall not very readily let the flatterers walk over
- us. Now Alexander Cf. Plutarch, Life of Alexander, chap. xxii. (677 B) and Moralia, 717 B.Cf. Aristotle, Ethics, ii. 7, and Horace, Satires, i. 2. 24.
Seeing, therefore, that there are certain fatal faults attending upon
- frankness, let us in the first place divest it of all self-regard by
- exercising all vigilance lest we seem to have some private reason for our
- reproaches, such as a personal wrong or grievance. For people are wont to
- think that anger, not goodwill, is the motive of a man who
-
- Hopeless and helpless ! Would you had to rule some other Paltry
- band, not this,
he yields and puts up with it, quieted by the friendly
- concern and good sense of the other's words. For Odysseus, who had no ground
- for anger personally, spoke boldly to him in behalf of Greece, while
- Achilles seemed to be incensed chiefly on his own account. And it is true
- that Achilles himself, although he was Il. xiv. 84.not a man of sweet or gentle
- temper,
- Ibid. xx. 467.Terrible man, who is given to blaming even the
- blameless,
submitted himself to Patroclus in silence, although Patroclus
- often launched upon him strictures like this : Il. xi. 653-4 and xiii. 775.Ruthless man, your sire was
- not the knightly Peleus, Nor was Thetis your mother ; no, the grey-gleaming
- ocean Bore you, and high rugged rocks, you are so hard-hearted.
The orator
- Hypereides Il. xvi. 33.Cf. Plutarch, Life of Phocion, chap. x. (746 D).If you should
- learn, Dionysius, that some ill-disposed man had made the voyage to
- Sicily, cherishing the desire to do you harm, but unable to find an
- opportunity, would you allow him to sail away, and should you let him
- withdraw unscathed ?
- Far from it, Plato,
said Dionysius, for not only the
- acts of enemies but their intentions as well must be detested and
- punished.
- If now,
said Plato, somebody has come hither out of
- goodwill to you, wishing to be the author of some good to you, but you
- give him no
-
-
When
- Dionysius asked who the man was, Aeschines,
he said,
- in character as fair as any one of Socrates' companions, and potent in
- speech to improve those with whom he may associate ; but after sailing
- hither over a vast expanse of the sea in order to discuss philosophy
- with you, he finds himself neglected.
These words so moved
- Dionysius, that he straightway embraced Plato affectionately, marvelling at
- his kindliness and high-mindedness, and afterwards he paid to Aeschines
- honourable and distinguished attentions.
In the second place, then, let us purge away, as it were, and eliminate from
- our frankness all arrogance, ridicule, scoffing, and scurrility, which are
- the unwholesome seasoning of free speech. Just as a certain orderliness and
- neatness should pervade the work of a surgeon when he performs an operation,
- but his hand should forbear all dancing and reckless motions, all flourishes
- and superfluity of gesticulation, so frankness has plenty of room for tact
- and urbanity, if such graciousness does not impair the high office of
- frankness ; but when effrontery and offensiveness and arrogance are coupled
- with it, they spoil and ruin it completely. There was point, therefore, and
- polish in the retort with which the harper Moralia, 179 B, 334 D, and 634 D.God forbid,
said he, that your Majesty should
- ever fall so low as to have a better knowledge of these matters than
- I.
But Epicharmus was not right in his retort upon Hiero, who
- had made away with some of his intimate friends, and then a few days later
- invited
- But the other
- day,
said Epicharmus, you held a sacrifice without
- invitation, of friends !
As badly answered Antiphon, when the
- question was up for discussion in the presence of Dionysius as to
- what is the best kind of bronze,
and he said, The kind
- from which they fashioned the statues of Harmodius and Aristogeiton
For the offensiveness and bitterness of such retorts
- profits nothing, their scurrility and frivolity gives no pleasure ; but a
- retort of this kind betokens intemperance of the tongue combined with malice
- and arrogance, and not without enmity. By employing it men eventually bring
- about their own destruction, since they are simply tyrannicides
of Athens.dancing on the
- edge of the pit.
For Antiphon was put to death by order of
- Dionysius, and Timagenes lost his place in Caesar's Whatsoever
- he thought would move the Argives to laughter,
he would on every possible
- occasion put forward friendship's cause as an artful excuse for railing. It
- is true that the comic poets Il. ii. 215.Frogs 686 ff.relaxes the bond of troubled cares,
as Pindar Poet. Lyr. Gr. i. 480 (Frag. 248). Lyaeus, an epithet of Bacchus, Plutarch assumes to be derived from
Now we observe that many people have neither the assurance nor the courage to
- school their friends when these are prospering, but on the contrary feel
- that good fortune is altogether inaccessible and impregnable to admonition,
- whereas, when one of their friends has fallen and come to grief, they assail
- him and trample upon him now he is reduced to a subordinate and humble
- position, letting loose upon him a flood of frank speech, like a stream
- which has been held in unnatural restraint, and they find a welcome
-
- Orestes, 667.When Heaven
- grants us luck, what need of friends ?
The reply is, that in good fortune
- men have most need of friends to speak frankly and reduce their excess of
- pride. For there are few persons who in good fortune have still a sober mind
- ; most have need of discretion and reason to be put into them from without,
- which shall repress them when they are puffed up and unsettled with the
- favours of fortune. But when the Heavenly power casts them down and strips
- off their importance, there is in these calamities alone admonition enough
- to work repentance. Wherefore at such a time there is no use for a friend's
- frankness or for words charged with grave and stinging reproof; but in such
- reversals truly 'Tis sweet to gaze into a kind man's eyes,
when he offers
- consolation and encouragement. And this was true of Clearchus, the sight of
- whose face, Xenophon Ion, 732.Anabasis, ii. 6. 11.
- battles and perils,
strengthened the confidence of the men in
- the face of danger. But he who applies frankness of speech and stinging
- reproof to a person in misfortune, might as well apply some stimulant of
- vision to a disordered and inflamed eye ; he effects no cure nor any
- abatement of the pain, but only adds irritation to the painfulness, and
- exasperates the sufferer. Thus no man in good health, for instance, is at
- all harsh or ferocious against a friend who blames him for yielding to women
- and wine, or for being lazy and neglecting to take exercise, or for
- indulging perpetually in baths or
- See what comes of your
- intemperance, your soft living, your gluttony and wenching.
- Heavens, man, what a time to talk of that! I am writing my will, the
- doctors are preparing for me a dose of castor or scammony, and you
- admonish and lecture me!
Under such conditions, then, the very
- circumstances in which the unfortunate find themselves leave no room for
- frank speaking and sententious saws, but they do require gentle usage and
- help. When children fall down, the nurses do not rush up to them to berate
- them, but they take them up, wash them, and straighten their clothes, and,
- after all this is done, they then rebuke and punish them. It is said that
- when Demetrius of Phalerum had been banished from his native land and was
- living in obscurity and humble station near Thebes, he was not well pleased
- to see Crates approaching, anticipating some cynical frankness and harsh
- language. But Crates met him with all gentleness, and conversed with him
- concerning the subject of banishment, how there was nothing bad in it, nor
- any good cause to feel distress, since thus he was set free from a hazardous
- and insecure office ; at the same time he urged him not to be discouraged
- over himself and his present condition. Whereupon Demetrius, becoming more
- cheerful and once more taking heart, said to his friends, What a
- pity that those activities and occupations of mine have kept me from
- knowing a man like this !
- The kindly words of friends for one
- in grief And admonitions when one plays the fool.
- Trag. Graec. Frag., Euripides, No. 962. Again cited by Plutarch, Moralia, 102 B.like the old fractures and sprains,
which, as
- Demosthenes De corona, 198.are stirred afresh whenever the body suffers some
- ill,
and so these persons have a clinging fondness for reverses,
- as though they were pleased with them and derived enjoyment from them. For
- if a man really needs a reminder where he has come to grief through
- following his own ill-advised counsel, sufficient are the words : Never did
- I approve the act; indeed I often Spoke against it.
- Il. ix. 108.
In what circumstances, then, should a friend be severe, and when should he be
- emphatic in using frank speech ? It is when occasions demand of him that he
- check the headlong course of pleasure or of anger or of arrogance, or that
- he abate avarice or curb inconsiderate heedlessness. Such was the frankness
- of Solon Life of Solon, xx. 94 D.Symposium, 215 E.Cyropaedia, v. 5. 5 ff.arbitrary self-will
- and to fear it, since it is companion to solitude.
- Letters, iv. 321 C. Again quoted by Plutarch, Life of Dion, chap. viii. (961 C); chap. liii. (981 B); and Life of Coriolanus, chap. xv. (220 D); cf. also 220 D.bring name and fame
to the Academy. Phoenissae, 1742.
Let thus much, then, serve to define the proper occasion in general. But the
- friend who is concerned for his friends must not let slip the occasions
- which they themselves often present, but he should turn these to account.
- For sometimes a question, the telling of a story, blame or commendation of
- like things in other people, may serve as an opening for frank speech. For
- example, Demaratus Moralia, 179 C, Plutarch records the successful result of Demaratus's frankness with Philip.A glorious thing for you,
- Philip, to be inquiring about the concord of Athenians and
- Peloponnesians, while you let your own household be full of all this
- quarrelling
-
Excellent, too, was the
- retort of Diogenes Moralia, 606 B.Yes, indeed, Philip,
he replied, I am here to
- spy upon your ill-advised folly, because of which you, without any
- compelling reason, are on your way to hazard a kingdom and your life on
- the outcome of a single hour.
This perhaps was rather severe.
-
But another opportunity for admonition arises when people, having been
- reviled by others for their errors, have become submissive and downcast. The
- tactful man will make an adept use of this, by rebuffing and dispersing the
- revilers, and by taking hold of his friend in private and reminding him
- that, if there is no other reason for his being circumspect, he should at
- least try to keep his enemies from being bold. For where have these
- fellows a chance to open their mouths, or what can they say against you,
- if you put away and cast from you all that which gets you a bad name ?
-
In this way he who reviles is charged with hurting, and he who
- admonishes is credited with helping. But some persons manage more cleverly,
- and by finding fault with strangers, turn their own intimate acquaintances
- to repentance ; for they accuse the others of what they know their own
- acquaintances are doing. My professor, Ammonius, at an afternoon lecture
- perceived that some of his students had eaten a luncheon that was anything
- but frugal, and so he ordered his freedman to chastise his own servant,
- remarking by way of explanation that that boy
-
-
At the same time he glanced
- towards us, so that the rebuke took hold of the guilty.
One other point: we must be very careful about the use of frank speech toward
- a friend before a large company, bearing in mind the incident in which Plato
- was involved. It so happened that Socrates had handled one of his
- acquaintances rather severely in a conversation which took place close by
- the money-changers', whereupon Plato said, Were it not better that
- this had been said in private ?
Socrates retorted,
- Should you not have done better if you had addressed your remark to me
- in private ?
And again, when Pythagoras once assailed a devoted
- pupil pretty roughly in the presence of several persons, the youth, as the
- story goes, hanged himself, and from that time on Pythagoras never
- admonished anybody when anyone else was present. For error should be treated
- as a foul disease, and all admonition and disclosure should be in secret,
- with nothing of show or display in it to attract a crowd of witnesses and
- spectators. For it is not like friendship, but sophistry, to seek for glory
- in other men's faults, and to make a fair show before the spectators, like
- the physicians who perform operations in the theatres with an eye to
- attracting patients. Quite apart from the affront involved—which ought never
- to be allowed in any corrective treatment— some regard must be paid to the
- contentiousness and self-will that belong to vice ; for it is not enough to
- say, as Euripides Stheneboea; cf. Nauck, Trag. Graec. Frag., Eurip. No. 665.Love reproved More urgent grows,
but if
- admonition be offered in public, and unsparingly,
- Laws, 729 C. Also cited or referred to by Plutarch, Moralia, 14 B, 144 F, 272 C.Hold one's head quite close, that the others may not hear
- it.
And least of all is it decent to expose a husband in the hearing of his
- wife, and a father in the sight of his children, and a lover in the presence
- of his beloved, or a teacher in the presence of his students : for such
- persons are driven almost insane with grief and anger at being taken to task
- before those with whom they feel it is necessary to stand well. I imagine
- also that it was not so much the wine that caused Cleitus Od. i. 157.Life of Alexander, chaps. l., li. (693 C).cf. Polybius, xv. 31.If with all your fatiguing
- duties and great lack of sleep you dropped off, we ought to admonish you
- in private, not to lay hands on you before so many people
; and
- Ptolemy sent a goblet of poison with orders that
-
- Acharnians, 503; cf. also lines 378 ff. and the scholium on 378.With strangers present he reviles the State,
- thus trying to exasperate the Athenians against
- him. This blunder, therefore, along with the others,
- must be guarded against by those who desire, not
- to show off, or to win popularity, but to employ
- frank speaking in a way that is beneficial and
- salutary. In feet, persons that use frank speaking
- ought to be able to say what Thucydides have a good right to reprove others
—which
- is not a bad way of putting it. For as Lysander,Life of Lysander, chap. xxii. (445 D). The story is repeated in Moralia, 190 E and 229 C. A similar remark is attributed to Agesilaus in Moralia, 212 E.his words needed a country to
- back them
; so it may well be that every man's
- frank speaking needs to be backed by character, but
- this is especially true in the case of those who
- admonish others and try to bring them to their
- sober senses. Plato Cf. Plutarch, Moralia, 491 F.Wouldst thou heal others, full of sores thyself!
- cf. Nauck, Trag. Graec. Frag., Eurip. No. 1086; quoted also in Moralia, 88 D, 481 E, 1110 E.
Since, however, circumstances oftentimes impel
- men that are none too good themselves to use
- admonition when in the company of others who are
- no better than they, the most reasonable method
- would be that which in some way involves and
- includes in the arraignment the speaker himself.
- This is the principle of the reproof Son of Tydeus, what has made us forget our swift prowess ?
- and
- Il. xi. 313; quoted with additional lines, supra, 30 E.We are no match now even for Hector
- Who is only one man.
- And in this way Socrates quietly took the young men
- to task, not assuming that he himself was exempted
- from ignorance, but feeling that he had need as well
- as they to study virtue and to search for truth. For
- those win goodwill and confidence who give the impression that, while addicted to the same faults, they
- are correcting their friends precisely as they correct
- themselves. But the man who gives himself airs in
- trying to curb another as though he himself were
- some pure and passionless being, unless he be well
- on in years or possessed of an acknowledged position
- in virtue and repute, only appears annoying and
- tedious, and profits nothing. Therefore it was not
- without a purpose that Phoenix interjected the
- account of his own misfortunes, his attempt in a fit
- of anger to slay his father, and his sudden change of
- heart,
- Ibid. viii. 234.Lest I be known among the Greeks as my father's slayer
- This he did because he would not seem to admonish
-
-
- Ibid. ix. 461. See the note on 26 F, supra.
- Not without honour now can you be remiss in swift prowess,
- You who are all the best in our host. No cause for a quarrel
- Have I 'gainst any man who may be remiss in the fighting,
- If he is craven, but with you I am wroth beyond measure,
- and
- Il. xiii. 116.Pandarus, where is now your bow and its winged arrows?
- Where your repute which no man among us can rival?
- Lines like the following also sound a clear summons
- to come back when men are on the verge of giving
- way:
- Ibid. v. 171.Where's Oedipus and all those riddles famed?
- and
- Phoenissae, 1688.Can much-enduring Heracles speak thus?
- For not only do they mitigate the harsh and
- peremptory tone of the censure, but they also arouse
- in a man a desire to emulate his better self, since he
- is made to feel ashamed of disgraceful conduct by
- being reminded of his honourable actions, and is
- prompted to look upon himself as an example of
- what is better. But whenever we draw comparisons
- with other people, as, for example, with those of a
- man's own age or his fellow-citizens or his kinsmen,
- then the spirit of contentiousness that belongs
-
- Hercules Furens, 1250.Then why don't you
- go away to my betters, and not trouble me ?
One
- must, therefore, in frank speaking toward one set
- of persons be on his guard against commending
- another set, with the single exception, it is true, of
- parents. For example, Agamemnon can say :
- Truly Tydeus' son is not much like his father,
- and so, too, Odysseus in the Scyrians :
- Il. v. 800.Dost thou, to shame the glory of thy race,
- Card wool, whose father was the noblest Greek ?
- Trag. Graec. Frag., Adesp. No. 9; quoted with variant reading, supra, 34 D.
Least of all is it becoming to reply to admonition with admonition, and to counter frank - speaking with frank speaking. For this provokes - instant heat, and causes estrangement, and such - altercation, as a rule, bewrays, not the man that - merely rewards frankness with frankness, but the - man that cannot tolerate frankness. It is better, - therefore, to bear patiently with a friend who affects - to offer admonition ; for if later he errs himself, and - requires admonition, this very fact, in a certain way, - gives our frank speaking a chance to speak frankly. - For if he be gently reminded, without any show of - resentment, that he himself has not been wont to - overlook the errors of his friends, but to take his - friends to task and enlighten them, he will be much - more inclined to yield and accept the correction, as - being a way to requite a kindly and gracious feeling, - and not fault-finding or anger. -
-Then again, as Thucydides Whoever
- incurs unpopularity over matters of the highest
-
-
-
; so it is
- the duty of a friend to accept the odium that comes
- from giving admonition when matters of importance
- and of great concern are at stake. But if he is for
- ever bickering over everything and about everything, and approaches his acquaintance in the manner
- not of a friend but of a schoolmaster, his admonitions
- will lose their edge and effectiveness in matters of
- the highest importance, since, like a physician who
- should dole out his supply of a pungent or bitter
- but necessary and costly medicine by prescribing
- it in a great number of slight cases where it is not
- necessary, he will have used up his supply of frankness
- without result. He will, therefore, be earnestly
- on his guard against continual censoriousness in
- himself; and if another person is apt to search
- narrowly into everything, and keeps up a continual
- comment of petty accusation, this will give him the
- key, as it were, in opening an attack on faults that
- are more important. The physician Philotimus, on
- an occasion, when a man with an ulcerated liver
- showed him his finger with a whitlow on it, said,
- My friend, you need not concern yourself about
- a sore finger.
- supra, 43 B.Why dwell on playful sports and conviviality and
- nonsense ? Let this man, my friend, but get rid
- of the woman he keeps, or cease gambling, and there
- we have a man in all else admirable.
For the man
- who receives indulgence in small matters is not
- unready to grant to his friend the right to speak
- frankly in regard to the greater. But the inveterate
- nagger, everywhere sour and unpleasant, noticing
-
-
But since, to quote Euripides,Phoenissae, 528.not everything connected with old age is bad,
and the same
- thing holds true also of our friends' fatuity, we
- ought to keep close watch upon our friends not only
- when they go wrong but also when they are right,
- and indeed the first step should be commendation
- cheerfully bestowed. Then later, just as steel is
- made compact by cooling, and takes on a temper
- as the result of having first been relaxed and softened
- by heat, so when our friends have become mollified
- and warmed by our commendations we should give
- them an application of frankness like a tempering
- bath. For the right occasion gives us a chance to
- say, Is this conduct worthy to compare with that ?
- Do you see what fruits honour yields ? This is
- what we your friends demand ; this befits your own
- character; nature intended you for this.
But those
- other promptings must be exorcised—
- Off to the mountain or else to the surge of the loud-roaring
- ocean.
- For as a kind-hearted physician would prefer to
- relieve a sick man's ailment by sleep and diet rather
- than by castor and scammony, so a kindly friend, a
- good father, and a teacher, take pleasure in using
- commendation rather than blame for the correction
- of character. For nothing else makes the frank
- person give so little pain and do so much good by his
- words, as to refrain from all show of temper, and to
- approach the erring good-humouredly and with kindliness. For this reason they should not be sharply
- refuted when they make denial, nor prevented from
-
- Il. vi. 347.Il. vi. 326.Strange man ! 'Tis not right to nurse this wrath in
- your bosom,
- as though his withdrawal from the combat were not
- desertion, or cowardice, but only a display of temper.
- And so Nestor Ibid. ix. 109.But you to your high-minded spirit
- Gave way.
- For a higher moral tone, I think, is assumed in saying
- You acted unbecomingly
rather than You did
- wrong,
and You were inadvertent
rather than
- You were ignorant,
and Don't be contentious
- with your brother
rather than Don't be jealous of
- your brother,
and Keep away from the woman
- who is trying to ruin you
rather than Stop trying
- to ruin the woman.
Such is the method which
- frankness seeks to take when it would reclaim a
- wrongdoer ; but to stir a man to action it tries the
- opposite method. For example, whenever it either
- becomes necessary to divert persons that are on the
- point of going wrong, or when we would give an
- earnest impulse to those who are trying to make a
- stand against the onset of a violent adverse impulse,
- or who are quite without energy and spirit for what
- is noble, we should turn round and ascribe their
- action to some unnatural or unbecoming motives.
- Thus Odysseus, as Sophocles Dinner-guests probably; Nauck, Trag. Graec. Frag., Soph. No. 141. See, however, Jebb-Pearson, The Fragments of Sophocles, ii. p. 205.Already at the sight of builded Troy
- You are afraid.
- And again when Achilles is exceedingly indignant
- at this, and says that he is for sailing away, Odysseus
- says
- I know what 'tis you flee; not ill repute,
- But Hector's near ; it is not good to stay.
- So by alarming the spirited and manly man with an
- imputation of cowardice, the chaste and orderly with
- an imputation of licentiousness, the liberal and lordly
- with an imputation of pettiness and stinginess, they
- give to such persons an impulse toward what is
- noble, and turn them away from what is disgraceful,
- proving themselves moderate in matters beyond
- remedy, and owning more to sorrow and sympathy
- than to blame in their frank speaking ; but in efforts
- to prevent the commission of error and in any
- wrestling with the emotions they are severe, inexorable, and unremitting. For this is the right time
- for a resolute goodwill and genuine frankness.
- Blame for past deeds is a weapon which we see
- enemies using against each other. Whereby is
- confirmed the saying of Diogenes that as a matter
- of self-preservation, a man needs to be supplied with
- good friends or else with ardent enemies ; for the
- former instruct him, and the latter take him to task.
- But it is better to guard against errors by following
- proffered advice than to repent of errors because of
- men's upbraiding. This is the reason why it is
- necessary to treat frankness as a fine art, inasmuch
- as it is the greatest and most potent medicine in
- friendship, always needing, however, all care to hit
- the right occasion, and a tempering with moderation.
-
- Dinner-guests probably. See note C, p. 390.
Since, then, as has been said, frankness, from - its very nature, is oftentimes painful to the person - to whom it is applied, there is need to follow the - example of the physicians ; for they, in a surgical - operation, do not leave the part that has been operated - upon in its suffering and pain, but treat it with - soothing lotions and fomentations ; nor do persons - that use admonition with skill simply apply its - bitterness and sting, and then run away ; but by - further converse and gentle words they mollify and - assuage, even as stone-cutters smooth and polish the - portions of statues that have been previously - hammered and chiselled. But the man who has been - hard hit and scored by frankness, if he be left rough - and tumid and uneven, will, owing to the effect of - anger, not readily respond to an appeal the next - time, or put up with attempts to soothe him. Therefore those who employ admonition should be particularly on their guard in this respect, and not take - their leave too soon, nor allow anything painful and - irritating to their acquaintances to form the final - topic of conversation at an interview. -
-PLATO is of opinion that it is very pardonable in a - man to acknowledge that he has any extraordinary passion - for himself; and yet the humor is attended with this ill - consequent, besides several others, that it renders us incapable of making a right judgment of ourselves. For our - affections usually blind our discerning faculties, unless we - have learned to raise them above the sordid level of things - congenial and familiar to us, to those which are truly noble - and excellent in themselves. And hence it is that we are - so frequently exposed to the attempts of a parasite, under - the disguise and vizard of a friend. For self-love, that - grand flatterer within, willingly entertains another from - without, who will but soothe up and second the man in - the good opinions he has conceived of himself. For he - who deservedly lies under the character of one that loves - to be flattered is doubtless sufficiently fond of himself: and - through abundance of complaisance to his own person, not - only wishes but thinks himself master of all those perfections which may recommend him to others. And though - indeed it be laudable enough to covet such accomplishments, yet is it altogether unsafe for any man to fancy - them inherent in him.
-Now, if truth be a ray of the divinity, as Plato says it
- is, and the source of all the good that derives upon either
- Gods or men, then certainly the flatterer must be looked
-
-
Did flattery, indeed, as most other misfortunes do,
- generally or altogether wait on the debauched and ignoble
- part of mankind, the mischief were of less consequence,
- and might admit of an easier prevention. But, as worms
- breed most in sweet and tender woods, so usually the most
- obliging, the most brave and generous tempers readiliest
- receive and longest entertain the flattering insect that
- hangs and grows upon them. And since, to use Simonides's expression, it is not for persons of a narrow fortune,
- but for gentlemen of estates, to keep a good stable of
- horses; so never saw we flattery the attendant of the poor,
- the inglorious and inconsiderable plebeian, but of the grandees of the world, the distemper and bane of great families
- and affairs, the plague in kings' chambers, and the ruin of
- their kingdoms. Therefore it is a business of no small
- importance, and one which requires no ordinary circumspection, so to be able to know a flatterer in every shape
- he assumes, that the counterfeit resemblance some time or
- other bring not true friendship itself into suspicion and disrepute. For parasites,—like lice, which desert a dying man,
- whose palled and vapid blood can feed them no longer,—
- never intermix in dry and insipid business where there is
- nothing to be got; but prey upon a noble quarry, the ministers of state and potentates of the earth, and afterwards
- lousily shirk off, if the greatness of their fortune chance to
- leave them. But it will not be wisdom in us to stay till
- such fatal junctures, and then try the experiment, which
- will not only be useless but dangerous and hurtful; for it
- is a deplorable thing for a man to find himself then destitute
-
- Where Love and all the Graces do reside.
-
For it is not only a comfort to the afflicted,
- To enjoy the courtesy of his kindest friend,
-
as Euripides speaks; but friendship extends itself to both
- fortunes, as well brightens and adorns prosperity as allays
- the sorrows that attend adversity. And as Evenus used to
- say that fire makes the best sauce, so friendship, wherewith
- God has seasoned the circumstances of our mortality, gives
- a relish to every condition, renders them all easy, sweet,
- and agreeable enough. And indeed, did not the laws of
- friendship admit of a little pleasantry and good humor, why
- should the parasite insinuate himself under that disguise?
- And yet he, as counterfeit gold imitates the brightness and
- lustre of the true, always puts on the easiness and freedom
- of a friend, is always pleasant and obliging, and ready to
- comply with the humor of his company. And therefore it
-
-
Why then, some may say, it is infinitely difficult at
- this rate to distinguish a flatterer from a friend, since there
- is no apparent difference either betwixt the satisfaction
- they create or the praises they bestow. Nay, it is observable, that a parasite is frequently more obsequious and
- obliging than a friend himself. Well, the way then to
- discover the disparity? Why, I will tell you; if you
- would learn the character of a true subtle flatterer, who
- nicks his point secundum artem, you must not, with the
- vulgar, mistake those sordid smell-feasts and poor trencher-slaves for your men, who begin to prate as soon as they
- have washed their hands in order to dinner, as one says
- of them, and ere they are well warmed with a good cut
- of the first dish and a glass of wine, betray the narrow
- soul that acts them by the nauseous and fulsome buffoonery they vent at table. For sure it needed no great sagacity to detect the flattery of Melanthius, the parasite of
- Alexander of Pherae, who, being asked how his master
- was murdered, made answer, With a thrust which went
- in at his side, but into my belly. Nor must we, again,
- confine our notions of flatterers to those sharping fellows
- who ply about rich men's tables, whom neither fire nor
- sword nor porter can keep from supper; nor yet to such
- as were those female parasites of Cyprus, who going into
-
-
Well, but after all, who is this flatterer then, whom - we ought so industriously to avoid?
-I answer: He who neither professes nor seems to flatter;
- who never haunts your kitchen, is never observed to watch
- the dial that he may nick your supper-time; who won't
- drink to excess, but will keep his brains about him; who
- is prying and inquisitive, would mix in your business, and
- wind himself into your secrets: in short, he who acts the
- friend, not with the air of a comedian or a satirist, but
- with the port and gravity of a tragedian. For, as Plato
- says, It is the height of injustice to appear just and be
- really a knave. So are we to look upon those flatterers
- as most dangerous who walk not barefaced but in disguise, who make no sport but mind their. business; for
- these often personate the true and sincere friend so exactly, that it is enough to make him fall under the like
- suspicion of a cheat, unless we be extremely curious in
- remarking the difference betwixt them. It is storied of
- Gobryas (one of the Persian nobility, who joined with
- Darius against the Magi), that he pursued one of them
- into a dark room, and there fell upon him; during the
- scuffle Darius came in and drew upon the enemy, but durst
- not push at him, lest perhaps he might wound his confederate Gobryas with the thrust; whereupon Gobryas
- bade him, rather than fail, run both through together.
- But since we can by no means admit of that vulgar saying,
- Let my friend perish, so my enemy perish with him, but
- had rather still endeavor at the discovery of a parasite
- from a friend, notwithstanding the nearness of the resemblance, we ought to use our utmost care, lest at any time
- we indifferently reject the good with the bad, or unadvisedly retain the bad with the good, the friend and flatterer
-
-
Now because the enjoyment of a friend is attended - with the greatest satisfaction incident to humanity, therefore the flatterer always endeavors to entrap us by rendering his conversation highly pleasant and agreeable. - Again, because all acts of kindness and mutual beneficence are' the constant attendants upon true friendship (on - which account we usually say, A friend is more necessary - than fire or water), therefore the flatterer is ready upon - every occasion to obtrude his service upon you, and will - with an indefatigable bustle and zeal seek to oblige you - if he can.
-In the next place, the parasite observes that all true
- friendship takes its origin from a concurrence of like humors and inclinations, and that the same passions, the
- same aversions and desires, are the first cement of a true
- and lasting friendship. He therefore composes his nature,
- like unformed matter, striving to fit and adapt it by imitation to the person on whom he designs, that it may be
- pliant and yielding to any impression that he shall think
- fit to stamp upon it; and, in fine, he so neatly resembles
- the original, that one would swear,—
- Sure thou the very Achilles art, and not his son.
-
But the most exquisite fineness of a flatterer consists in
- his imitation of that freedom of discourse which friends
- particularly use in mutually reprehending each other. For
- finding that men usually take it for what it really is, the
- natural language of friendship, as peculiar to it as certain
-
-
Well then, let us enquire regularly into this affair.
- We have already asserted, that friendship generally takes
- its rise from a conformity of tempers and dispositions,
- whereby different persons come to have the same taste of
- the like humors, customs, studies, exercises, and employs,
- as these following verses import:—
-
-
-
The flatterer then, observing how congenial it is to our
- natures to delight in the conversation of those who are, as
-
-
Well, then, by what signs or tokens shall we be able - to know this counterfeit copy of ourselves from a true and - genuine likeness?
-In the first place, we must accurately remark upon the
- whole tenor of his life and conversation, whether or not
- the resemblance he pretends to the original be of any continuance, natural and easy, and all of a piece; whether he
- square his actions according to any one steady and uniform
- model, as becomes an ingenuous lover of conversation and
- friendship, which is all of one thread, and still like itself;
- for this is a true friend indeed. But the flatterer, who has
- no principles in him, and leads not a life properly his own,
- but forms and moulds it according to the various humors
- and caprices of those he designs to bubble, is never one
- and the same man, but a mere dapple or trimmer, who
- changes shapes with his company, like water that always
- turns and winds itself into the figure of the channel
- through which it flows. Apes, it seems, are usually
- caught by their antic mimicry of the motions and gesticulations of men; and yet the men themselves are
- trepanned by the same craft of imitation in a flatterer,
-
-
-
-
and yet the hunter himself is the game he designs for the
- toils. If he be in pursuit of some bookish young gentleman, then he is always a poring, he nourishes his reverend
- beard down to his heels, wears a tattered cloak, affects the
- careless indifference of a philosopher, and can now discourse of nothing under Plato's triangles and rectangles.
- If he chance to fall into the acquaintance of a drunken,
- idle debauchee who has got an estate,
- Then sly Ulysses throws away his rags,
-
puts off his long robe, mows down his fruitless crop of
- beard, drinks briskly, laughs modishly on the walks, and
- drolls handsomely upon the philosophical fops of the town.
- And thus, they say, it happened at Syracuse; for when
- Plato first arrived there and Dionysius was wonderfully hot
- upon the study of philosophy, all the areas in the king's
- palace were full of nothing but dust and sand, by reason
- of the great concourse of geometricians who came to draw
- their figures and demonstrate there. But no sooner was
- Plato in disgrace at court, and Dionysius finally fallen from
- philosophy to wine and women, trifles and intemperance,
- than learning fell into a general disrepute, and the whole
- body of the people, as if bewitched by some Circe or other,
- became universally stupid, idle, and infatuated. Besides
- this. I appeal to the practices of men notorious for flattery
- and popularity to back my observation. Witness he who
- topped them all, Alcibiades, who, when he dwelt at Athens,
- was as arch and witty as any Athenian of them all, kept
-
-
But he who will take the pains to act the dissembler
- himself, by interchangeably decrying and extolling the same
- things, discourses, and ways of living, will easily perceive
- that the opinions of a flatterer are as mutable and inconstant as the colors of a polypus, that he is never consonant
- to himself nor properly his own man; that all his passions,
- his love and hatred, his joy and sorrow, are borrowed and
- counterfeit; and that, in a word, like a mirror, he only receives and represents the several faces or images of other
- men's affections and humors. Do but discommend one of
- your acquaintance a little in his company, and he will tell
- you it is a wonder you never found him out all this while,
- for his part he never fancied him in his life. Change but
- your style and commend him, he presently swears you oblige
- him in it, gives you a thousand thanks for the gentleman's
- sake, and believes your character of him to be just. Tell
- him you have thoughts of altering your course of life, as
- for instance, to retire from all public employs to privacy and
-
- How now, my friend! What, quite another man!
-
I abhor a fellow who servilely complies with whatsoever - I propose, and keeps pace with me in all my motions,—my - shadow can do that better than yourself,—but my friend - must deal plainly and impartially, and assist me faithfully - with his judgment. And thus you see one way of discerning a flatterer from a friend.
-Another difference observable betwixt them in the
- resemblance thy bear to each other is, that a true friend
- will not rashly commend nor imitate every thing, but only
- what really deserves it; for, as Sophocles says,
- He shares with him his loves, but not his hates,
-
and will scorn to bear any part with him in any base and
- dishonorable actions, unless, as people sometimes catch
- blear eyes, he may chance insensibly to contract some ill
- habit or other by the very contagion of familiarity and conversation. Thus they say Plato's acquaintance learned his
- stoop, Aristotle's his lisp, and Alexander's the inclination of
- his neck and the rapidity of his speech. For some persons, ere they are aware, get a touch of the humors and
- infirmities of those with whom they converse. But now as
- a true friend endeavors only to copy the fairest originals, so,
- on the contrary, the flatterer, like the chameleon, which puts
- on all colors but the innocent white, being unable to reach
- those strokes of virtue which are worth his imitation, takes
- care that no failure or imperfection escape him. As unskilful
-
-
But there are others who refine upon the former by a
- pretended fellow-suffering in the more private concernments
- of life, whereby they wriggle themselves deeper into the
- affections of those they flatter; as, if they find a man unhappily married, or distrustful of his children or domestics,
- they spare not their own family, but immediately entertain
- you with some lamentable story of the hard fortune they
- have met with in their children, their wife, their servants,
- or relations. For, by the parallel circumstances they pretend
-
-
-
-
For this is the true portraiture of those sharpers, who, as - Eupolis speaks, sponge upon their acquaintance for a - dinner.
-But we will reserve these remarks for a more proper
- place. In the mean time I must not omit the other artifice
- observable in his imitation, which is this: that if at any
- time he counterfeit the good qualities of his friend, he immediately yields him the pre-eminence; whereas there is
- no competition, no emulation or envy amongst true friends,
- but whether they are equally accomplished or not, they
- bear the same even unconcerned temper of mind towards
- each other. But the flatterer, remembering that he is but
- to act another's part, pretends only to such strokes as fall
- short of the original, and is willing to confess himself outdone in any thing but his vices, wherein alone he claims
- the precedency to himself; as, if the man he is to wheedle
- be difficult and morose, he is quite overrun with choler; if
- something superstitious, he is a perfect enthusiast; if a
-
- But thunder is the language of you Gods, not mine.
-
And thus at the same time he obliges his friend both in - approving of his abilities by his owning of them, and in - confessing him incomparable in his way by himself coming - short of his example. These then are the distinguishing - characters of a friend and flatterer, as far as concerns the - counterfeit resemblance betwixt them.
-But because, as we have before observed, it is common to them both to please (for a good man is no less taken
- with the company of his friends than an ill one is with a
- flatterer's), let us discriminate them here too. And the
- way will be to have an eye to the end to which they direct
- the satisfaction they create, which may be thus illustrated.
- Your perfumed oils have a fine odoriferous scent, and so, it
- may be, have some medicines too; but with this difference,
- that the former are prepared barely for the gratification of
- the sense, whilst the other, besides their odor, purge, heal,
- and fatten. Again, the colors used by painters are certainly
- very florid and the mixture agreeable; and yet so it is in
- some medicinal compositions too. Wherein then lies the
- difference? Why, in the end or use for which they are
- designed, the one purely for pleasure the other for profit.
- In like manner the civilities of one friend to another, besides the main point of their honesty and mutual advantage,
- are always attended with an overplus of delight and satisfaction.
-
- With pleasing chat they did delight each other;
-
as likewise this too,
- Nothing could part our pleasure or our love.
-
But the whole business and design of a flatterer is continually to entertain the company with some pastime or
- other, a little jest, a story well told, or a comical action;
- and, in a word, he thinks he can never overact the diverting
- part of conversation. Whereas the true friend, proposing
- no other end to himself than the bare discharge of his duty,
- is sometimes pleasant, and as often, it may be, disagreeable,
- neither solicitously coveting the one, nor industriously avoiding the other, if he judge it the more seasonable and
- expedient. For as a physician, if need require, will throw
- in a little saffron or spikenard to qualify his patient's dose,
- and will now and then bathe him and feed him up curiously, and yet again another time will prescribe him castor,
-
-
-
or perhaps will oblige him to drink an infusion of hellebore,—proposing neither the deliciousness of the one nor
- the nauseousness of the other as his scope and design, but
- only conducting him by these different methods to one and
- the same end, the recovery of his health,—in like manner
- the real friend sometimes leads his man gently on to virtue by
- kindness, by pleasing and extolling him, as he in Homer,
-
-
-
-
and as another speaking of Ulysses,
-
-
-
and again, when he sees correction requisite, he will check
- him severely, as,
-
-
-
and perhaps he is forced another time to second his words
- with actions, as Menedemus reclaimed his friend Asclepiades's son, a dissolute and debauched young gentleman, by
- shutting his doors upon him and not vouchsafing to speak
- to him. And Arcesilaus forbade Battus his school for
- having abused Cleanthes in a comedy of his, but after he
- had made satisfaction and an acknowledgment of his fault,
- took him into favor again. For we ought to grieve and
- afflict our friend with design merely of serving him, not of
- making a rupture betwixt us, and must apply our reprehensions only as pungent and acute medicines, with no other
- intent than the recovery of the patient. And therefore a
- friend—like a skilful musician who, to tune his instrument, winds up one string and lets down another—grants
- some things and refuses others according as their honesty
- or usefulness prompt him, whereby he often pleases, but is
- sure always to profit; whereas the parasite, who is continually upon the same humoring string, knows not how to let
- fall a cross word or commit a disobliging action, but servilely complies with all your desires, and is always in the
- tune you ask for. And therefore, as Xenophon reports of
- Agesilaus that he took some delight in being praised by
- those who would upon occasion dispraise him too, so ought
- we to judge that only he rejoices and pleases us really as a
-
-
They tell us that gad-flies creep into the ears of
- bulls, and ticks into those of dogs. But I am sure the
- parasite lays so close siege and sticks so fast to the ears
- of the ambitious with the repeated praises of their worth,
- that it is no easy matter to shake him off again. And
- therefore it highly concerns them to have their apprehensions awake and upon the guard, critically to remark
- whether the high characters such men lavish out are intended for the person or the thing they would be thought
- to commend. And we may indeed suppose them more
- peculiarly designed for the things themselves, if they bestow them on persons absent rather than present; if they
- covet and aspire after the same qualities themselves which
- they magnify in others; if they admire the same perfections in the rest of mankind as well as in us, and are never
- found to falter and belie, either in word or action, the
- sentiments they have owned. And, what is the surest
- criterion in this case, we are to examine whether or no we
- are not really troubled at or ashamed of the commission
- of those very things for which they applaud us, and could
- not wish that we had said or acted the quite contrary; for
- our own consciences, which are above the reach of passion
- and will not be put upon by all the sly artifices of flattery,
- will witness against us and spurn at an undeserved commendation. But I know not how it comes to pass, that
- several persons had rather be pitied than comforted in
- adversity; and when they have committed a fault, look
-
-
And therefore it will be then more especially our
- concern to look about us when a flatterer is upon the
- strain of praising ; which he is sensible enough of, and
- accordingly avoids all occasion of suspicion when he attacks us on that side. If indeed he meets with a tawdry
- fop, or a dull country clown in a leathern jacket, he plays
- upon him with all the liberty imaginable; as Struthias by
- way of flattery insulted and triumphed over the sottishness
-
-
Others again, like painters who enhance the lustre
- and beauty of a curious piece by the shades which surround it, slyly extol and encourage men in their vices by
- deriding and railing at their contrary virtues. Thus, in
- the company of the debauched. the covetous, and the extortioner, they run down temperance and modesty as mere
- rusticity; and justice and contentment with our present
- condition argue nothing in their phrase but a dastardly
- spirit and an impotence to action. If they fall into the
-
-
-
-
he applies a new engine to move this great weight. To
- such a one he imparts some of his private concerns, as
- being willing to advise with the ablest counsel: he has indeed a more intimate acquaintance with others, but he was
- forced to trouble him at present: for to whom should we
- poor witless men have recourse (says he) when we stand
- in need of advice Or whom else should we trust? And
- as soon as he has delivered his opinion, whether it be to
- the purpose or not, he takes his leave of him with a seeming satisfaction, as if he had received an answer from an
- oracle. Again, if he perceives a man pretends to be master
-
- For things divine take many shapes.
-
Now to discover the cheat which these insinuations of our
- own worth might put upon us (a thing that requires no ordinary circumspection), the best way will be to give him a
- very absurd advice, and to animadvert as impertinently as
- may be upon his works when he submits them to your censure. For if he makes no reply, but grants and approves
- of all you assert, and applauds every period with the
- eulogy of Very right! Incomparably well!—then you have
- trepanned him, and it is plain that, though
-
-
-
But to proceed. As some have defined painting to
- be mute poetry, so there is a sort of silent flattery which
- has its peculiar commendation. For as hunters are then
- surest of their game when they pass under the disguise of
- travellers, shepherds or husbandmen, and seem not at all
- intent upon their sport; so the eulogies of a parasite never
- take more effectually than when he seems least of all to
- commend you. For he who rises up to a rich man when
- he comes in company, or who, having begun a motion in
- the Senate, suddenly breaks off and gives some leading
- man the liberty of speaking his sense first in the point,
- such a man's silence more effectually slows the deference
- he pays the other's judgment than if he had avowedly proclaimed it. And hereupon you shall have them always
-
-
Thus dealt not Apelles with Megabyzus (one of the Persian nobility), who pretending once to talk I know not - what about lines, shades, and other things peculiar to his - art, the painter could not but take him up, telling him - that his apprentices yonder, who were grinding colors, - gazed strangely upon him, admiring his gold and purple - ornaments, while he held his tongue, but now could not - choose but titter to hear him offer at a discourse upon an - argument so much out of his sphere. And when Croesus - asked Solon his opinion of felicity, he told him flatly, that - he looked upon Tellus, an honest though obscure Athenian, - and Biton and Cleobis, as happier than he. But the flatterer will have kings, governors, and men of estates, not - only the most signally happy, but the most eminently - knowing, the most virtuous, and the most prudent of - mankind.
-And now some cannot endure to hear the Stoics,
- who centre all true riches, generosity, nobility, and royalty
- itself in the person of a wise man; but with the flatterer
- it is the man of money that is both orator and poet, and,
- if he pleases, painter and fiddler too, a good wrestler, an
- excellent footman, or any thing, for they never stand with
-
-
Thus much then for the point of praising; proceed
- we in the next place to treat of freedom in their reprehensions. And indeed, it were but reasonable that,—as Patroclus put on Achilles's armor and led his war-horse out into the
- field, yet durst not for all that venture to wield his spear,—
- so, though the flatterer wear all the other badges and ensigns of a friend, he should not dare to counterfeit the
- plain frankness of his discourse, as being a great, massy,
- and substantial weapon,
peculiar to him.
But because, to avoid that scandal and offence which
- their drunken bouts, their little jests, and ludicrous babling humor might otherwise create, they sometimes put on
- the face of gravity, and flatter under the vizard of a frown,
-
-
And indeed I can compare that trifling insignificant liberty of speech to which he pretends to nothing better than - that sham Hercules which Menander introduces in one - of his comedies. with a light hollow club upon his shoulder; - for, as women's pillows, which seem sufficiently stuffed to - bear up their heads, yield and sink under their weight, so - this counterfeit freedom in a flatterer's conversation swells - big and promises fair, that when it shrinks and contracts - itself it may draw those in with it who lay any stress upon - its outward appearance. Whereas the genuine and friendly - reprehension fixes upon real criminals, causing them grief - and trouble indeed, but only what is wholesome and salutary; like honey that corrodes but yet cleanses the ulcerous - parts of the body, and is otherwise both pleasant and - profitable. But of this in its proper place. We shall discourse at present of the flatterer who affects a morose, - angry, and inexorable behavior towards all but those upon - whom he designs, is peevish and difficult towards his servants, animadverts severely upon the failures of his relations and domestics, neither admires nor respects a stranger - but superciliously contemns him, pardons no man, but by - stories and complaints exasperates one against another, - thinking by these means to acquire the character of an irreconcilable enemy to all manner of vice, that he may be - thought one who would not spare his favorites themselves - upon occasion, and would neither act nor speak any thing - out of a mean and dastardly complaisance.
-And if at any time he undertakes his friend, he feigns
- himself a mere stranger to his real and considerable
- crimes; but if he catch him in some petty trifling peccadillo, there he takes his occasion to rant him terribly and
- thunder him severely off; as, if he see any of his goods
- out of order, if his house be not very convenient, if his
-
-
But there are others behind, who outdo all the subtlety of the former, such as can claw and please, even
- whilst they seem to reprehend. Thus when Alexander
- had bestowed some considerable reward upon a jester,
- Agis the Argive, through mere envy and vexation, cried
- out upon it as a most absurd action; which the king
- overhearing, he turned him about in great indignation at
- the insolence, saying, What's that you prate, sirrah? Why
- truly, replied the man, I must confess, I am not a little
- troubled to observe, that all you great men who are descended
-
-
Such artifices as these, I confess, are not very pernicious, but there remains one of a most dangerous consequence to weak men; and that is when a flatterer fastens
- those vices upon them which are directly contrary to those
- they are really guilty of. As Himerius, an Athenian parasite, upbraided one of the most miserable and stingy misers
- of the whole town with carelessness and prodigality, tell
- ing him he was afraid he should live to see the day when
- both he and his children should go a begging. Or, on
- the contrary, when they object niggardliness and parsimony to one that is lavish and profuse, as Titus Petronius
- did to Nero. Or when they advise arbitrary and tyrannical princes to lay aside their too much moderation and
- their unprofitable and unseasonable clemency. And like
- to these are they who shall pretend to be afraid of a
-
-
-
-
Thus Antony's friends persuaded him, when he was
- smitten with his beloved Cleopatra, that she doted on him,
- still calling him haughty and hard-hearted man. She,
- said they, has stripped herself of the glories of a crown and
- former grandeur, and now languishes with the love of you,
- attending the motion of your camp in the poor sordid
- figure of a concubine.
-
-
-
Now he was strangely pleased to hear of his little unkindness to his mistress, and was more taken with such
- a chiding than with the highest character they could have
- given him; but was not sensible that, under the color of
-
-
Upon the whole thereof, Bias seems not to have answered him very pertinently, who asked him which he - thought was the most hurtful animal, when he replied, - Of wild creatures a tyrant, and of tame ones a flatterer. - For he might have answered more accurately, that some - flatterers indeed are tame creatures, those shirks who ply - about your bath and your table; but they whose calumnies, malignity, and inquisitive meddling humor, like so - many gins and snares, reach the ladies' very closets and - bed-chambers, are wild, savage, and untractable.
-Now one way of arming ourselves against these
- assaults will be always to remember that,—since our
- souls are made up of two different parts, the one sincere,
- honest, and reasonable, the other brutish, false, and governed by passion,—the friend always adapts his advice
- and admonitions to the improvement of the better part
- (like a good physician, who preserves and advances an
- healthful constitution where he finds it), whilst the flatterer claws and tickles the irrational part of the man only,
- debauching it from the rules of right reason by the repeated suggestion of soft and sensual delights. For as
- there are some sorts of meat which assimilate neither
- with the blood nor with the spirits, and invigorate neither
-
-
But if we find it something difficult to discover him in
- these attempts upon our passions, because they often violently overpower all the forces of our reason to the contrary, we may then trace him in other instances of his
- knavery; for he always acts consonant to himself. As, if
- you are afraid of a surfeit and thereupon are in suspense
- about your bath and diet, a friend indeed will advise you to
- act cautiously and take care of your health; but the flatterer persuades you to the bath, bids you feed freely and
- not starve yourself with mortification. If he observes you
- want briskness and spirit for action, as being unwilling to
- undergo the fatigue of a journey or a voyage, he will tell
- you presently, there is no haste; the business may be well
- enough deferred, or else transacted by proxy. If at any
- time you have promised to lend or give a friend a sum of
- money, and upon second thoughts gladly would, and yet
- are ashamed to retract your word, the flatterer puts his
-
-
Let us in the next place discourse of the useful and - kind offices which the flatterer seems cheerfully ready upon - every occasion to perform, thereby rendering the disparity - betwixt him and the true friend extremely perplexed and - intricate.
-For the temper of a friend, like the language of truth,
- is (as Euripides says) sincere, natural, without paint or varnish; but that of a flatterer, as it is corrupt and diseased in
- itself, so stands in need of many curious and exquisite remedies to correct it.
Now these observations are argument enough to convince a man of any tolerable sense, that the friendship such - men pretend to is not really virtuous and chaste, but rather - a sort of impudent whorish love that obtrudes its embraces - upon you.
-But, to be more particular, let us first examine the disparity betwixt their promises. For our forefathers well
- observed, that the offers of a friend run in such terms
- as these:
-
-
-
but the flatterer's thus:
- Command me freely what you will, I'll do it.
-
For the comedians introduce such brave promises as
- these:
-
-
-
Besides, no real friend will assist in the execution of a
- design, unless, being first advised with, he approve of it as
- either honest or useful. Whereas the flatterer, though
- permitted to consult and give his opinion about an undertaking, not only out of a paltry desire to comply with and
- gratify his friend at any rate, but lest he should be looked
- upon as disaffected to the business, servilely closes with and
- advances his proposal, how unreasonable soever. For there
- are few rich men or princes of this mind:
-
-
-
for they, like actors in a tragedy, must have a chorus of
- their friends to join with them in the concert, or else the
-
-
-
-
But alas ! they invert the counsel, and abominate those who - deal freely with them and advise them obstinately for the - best, whilst pitiful cringing cheats and impostors are - admitted not only into their houses, but into their affections and the nearest concernments of their life. You - shall have some of them indeed more plain and simple - than the rest, who confess themselves unworthy to consult - about such weighty affairs, but are ready to serve you in - the executive part of a design. But the more subtle hypocrite comes in at the consult, knits his brows, declares his - consent by the gravity of a look or a nod, but speaks never - a word, unless perchance, when the great man delivers his - opinion, he cries, Lord! sir, you prevented me; I was just - going to say so. For, as the mathematicians tell us that - surfaces and lines, which are incorporeal and creatures of - the understanding only, are neither bended nor moved nor - extended of themselves, but are so affected together with - the bodies whose extremities they are; so you shall observe the flatterer attends only the motion of another's - sense, opinion, or passion, without any principle of action - in himself. So that the disparity betwixt them thus far is - easily discernible.
-And yet more easily in the manner they perform their
- good offices. For the kindnesses of a friend, like an animate creature, have their most proper virtues deep within,
- without any parade or pageantry on the outside. Nay,
- many times, as a faithful physician cures his patient when
- he least knows of it, so a true friend, either present or
-
-
Thus I am verily persuaded the Gods confer several - benefits upon us which we are not sensible of, upon no - other motive in the world than the mere pleasure and satisfaction they take in acts of kindness and beneficence.
-But on the contrary, the seemingly good offices of a flatterer have nothing of that sincerity and integrity, that simplicity and ingenuousness, which recommend a kindness, but
-
-
Besides, the flatterer is so extremely troublesome in recounting the weary steps he has taken, the cares he has - had upon him, the persons he has been forced to disoblige, - with a thousand other inconveniencies he has labored - under upon your account, that you will be apt to say, - The business was never worth all this din and clutter - about it.
-For a kindness once upbraided loses its grace, turns a - burden, and becomes intolerable. But the flatterer not - only reproaches us with his services already past, but at the - very instant of their performance; whereas, if a friend be - obliged to speak of any civility done another, he modestly - mentions it indeed, but attributes nothing to himself. - Thus, when the Lacedaemonians supplied the people of - Smyrna in great scarcity of provisions, and they gratefully - resented and extolled the kindness; Why, replied the - Spartans, it was no such great matter, we only robbed ourselves and our cattle of a dinner. For a favor thus bestowed - is not only free and ingenuous, but more acceptable to the - receiver, because he imagines his benefactor conferred it - on him without any great prejudice to himself.
-But the temper of a flatterer is discernible from that
- of a friend not only in the easiness of his promises and the
- troublesome impertinence that attends his good offices, but
- more signally in this, that the one is ready to promote any
- base and unworthy action, the other those only which are
- fair and honest. The one labors to please, the other to
- profit you. For a friend must not, as Gorgias would have
- him, beg another's assistance in a just undertaking, and
-
- In wisdom, not in folly, should they join.
-
And if, after all, he cannot prevail upon him, he may disengage himself with the reply of Phocion to Antipater;
- Sir, I cannot be both your friend and your flatterer,—that
- is, Your friend and not your friend at the same time. For
- we ought to be assistant to him in his honest endeavors
- indeed, but not in his knaveries; in his counsels, not in his
- tricks ; in appearing as evidence for him, but not in a
- cheat; and must bear a share in his misfortunes, but not
- in his acts of injustice. For if a man ought not to be as
- much as conscious of any unworthiness in his friend, how
- much less will it become him to partake in it? Therefore,
- as the Lacedaemonians, defeated and treating of articles of
- peace with Antipater, prayed him to command them any
- thing, howsoever grievous and burthensome to the subject,
- provided it were not base and dishonorable; so a friend, if
- you want his assistance in a chargeable, dangerous, and
- laborious enterprise, embarks in the design cheerfully and
- without reserve; but if such as will not stand with his
- reputation and honor, he fairly desires to be excused.
- Whereas, on the contrary, if you offer to put a flatterer
- upon a difficult or hazardous employment, he shuffles you
- off and begs your pardon. For but sound him, as you rap
- a vessel to try whether it be whole or cracked, full or
- empty; and he shams you off with the noise of some paltry,
- frivolous excuses. But engage him in any mean, sordid,
- and inglorious service, abuse him, kick him, trample on
- him, he bears all patiently and knows no affront. For as
- the ape, who cannot keep the house like a dog or bear a
- burden like an horse or plough like an ox, serves to be
- abused, to play the buffoon, and to make sport; so the
- parasite, who can neither plead your cause nor be your
-
-
There remains yet another way to discover him by
- his inclinations towards your intimates and familiars. For
- there is nothing more agreeable to a true and cordial acquaintance than to love and to be beloved with many; and
- therefore he always sedulously endeavors to gain his friend
- the affections and esteem of other men. For being of
- opinion that all things ought to be in common amongst
- friends, he thinks nothing ought to be more so than they
- themselves. But the faithless, the adulterate friend of base
- alloy, who is conscious to himself of the disservice he does
- true friendship by that false coin of it which he puts upon
- us, is naturally full of emulation and envy, even towards
- those of his own profession, endeavoring to outdo them in
- their common talent of babbling and buffoonry, whilst he
- reveres and cringes to his betters, whom he dares no more
- vie with than a footman with a Lydian chariot, or lead (to
- use Simonides's expression) with refined gold. Therefore
- this light and empty counterfeit, finding he wants weight
- when put into the balance against a solid and substantial
- friend, endeavors to remove him as far as he can, like
- him who, having painted a cock extremely ill, commanded
- his servant to take the original out of sight; and if he
- cannot compass his design, then he proceeds to compliment
- and ceremony, pretending outwardly to admire him as a
-
-
And therefore we repeat here what we advised at
- our entrance into this discourse, that we cashier every vain
- Opinion of ourselves and all self-love. For their inbred
- flattery only disposes and prepares us to a more favorable
- reception of that from without. For, if we did but square our
- actions according to the famous oracular precept of knowing ourselves, rate things according to their true intrinsic
- value, and withal, reflecting upon our own nature and education, consider what gross imperfections and failures mix
- with our words, actions, and affections, we should not lie so
-
-
But it is highly rude to endeavor to avoid the suspicion - of flattery by only being insignificantly troublesome, and it - argues an ungenteel, unconversable temper in a man to - show his just abhorrency of mean and servile ends in his - friendship only by a sour and disagreeable behavior; like - the freedman in the comedy, who would needs persuade - himself that his railing accusation fell within the limits of - that freedom in discourse which every one had right to - with his equals. Since therefore it is absurd to incur the - suspicion of a flatterer by an over-obliging and obsequious - humor, and as absurd, on the other hand, in endeavoring to - decline it by an immoderate latitude in our apprehensions, - to lose the enjoyments and salutary admonitions of a friendly - conversation, and since the measures of what is just and - proper in this, as in other things, are to be taken from - decency and moderation; the nature of the argument seems - to require me to conclude it with a discourse upon this - subject.
-Now seeing this liberty of animadverting on other
- men's failures is liable to so many exceptions, let us in the
- first place carefully purge it from all mixture of self-love
- and interest, lest any private motive, injury, grudge, or dissatisfaction of our own should seem to incite us to the
- undertaking. For such a chiding as this would not pass
- for an effect of kindness but of passion, and looks more
- like complaint than an admonition; for the latter has
- always something in it that sounds kind and yet awful,
- whereas the other betrays only a selfish and narrow disposition. And therefore we usually honor and revere our
- monitor, but contemn and recriminate upon a querulous
- accuser. As Agamemnon could by no means digest the
- moderate censures of Achilles, yet bore well enough with
- the severer reprimand of Ulysses,
-
-
-
-
being satisfied of his wisdom and good intentions; for he
- rated him purely upon the account of the public, the
- other upon his own. And Achilles himself, though of a
- rough and untractable disposition and ready enough to find
- faults where there were none,
-
-
For as Hyperides the orator desired the Athenians to consider not only whether his reflections were sharp, but also
- whether his sharpness was disinterested and incorrupt; so
- the reproofs of a friend, if they proceed from a sincere and
- disinterested affection, create veneration, awe, and confusion
- in the criminal to whom they are addressed. And if he
- once perceive that his friend, waiving all offences against
- himself, chides him purely for those committed against
- others, he can never hold out against the force of so powerful a rebuke; for the sweet and obliging temper of his
- monitor gives a keener edge to his admonitions. And
- therefore it has been wisely said, that especially in heats
- and differences with our friends we ought to have a peculiar regard to their honor and interest. Nor is it a less
- argument of friendship, for a man who is laid aside and
- out of favor himself to turn advocate in behalf of another
- equally despised and neglected; as Plato being in disgrace with Dionysius begged audience of him, which he
- readily granting in expectation of being entertained with
- an account of his grievances, Plato addressed himself to
- him after this manner: Sir, said he, if you were informed
- there were a certain ruffian come over into your island of
- Sicily with design to attempt upon your majesty's person,
-
-
In the next place, let us free our discourse from all
- contumelious language, all laughter, mockery, and scurrility, which spoil the relish of our reprehensions. For,
- as when a chirurgeon makes an incision in the flesh he
- uses decent neatness and dexterity in the operation, without the affected and superfluous gesticulations of a quack
- or mountebank, so the lancing the sores of a friend may
- admit indeed of a little humor and urbanity, but that so
- qualified that it spoil not the seriousness and gravity requisite to the work. For boldness, insolence, and ill language
- destroy its force and efficacy. And therefore the fiddler
- reparteed handsomely enough upon Philip, when he undertook to dispute with him about the touch upon his
- instrument: God forbid that your majesty should be so
- unhappy as to understand a fiddle better than I do. But
- Epicharmus was too blunt upon Hiero, who invited him to
-
- Scorn all his joy, and laughter all his aim;
-
alleging the pleasantness of his humor as the cause of his - favor at court.
-Thus you shall meet with several smart and satirical - reflections in a comedy; but the mixture of jest and fool - in the play, like ill sauce to good meat, abates their poignancy and renders them insignificant; so that, upon the - whole, the poet acquires only the character of a saucy and - foul-mouthed buffoon, and the auditors lose that advantage - which they might otherwise reap from remarks of that - nature.
-We may do well therefore to reserve our jollity and
- mirth for more suitable occasions, but we must by all
-
-
We are again to time our reproofs as seasonably as we
- can; for a mistake in the opportunities, as it is of ill consequence in all other things, is so peculiarly in our reprehensions. And therefore, I presume, it is manifest, we
- ought not to fall foul upon men in their drink. For first,
- he who broaches any sour disagreeable discourse amidst
- the pleasantry and good humor of friends casts a cloud
- over the serenity of the company, and acts counter to the
- God Lysius,the Releaser. See Pind. Frag. 124.
But because several persons neither will nor dare
- take their friends to task whilst they thrive and flourish in
- the world, looking upon prosperity as a state above the
- reach of a rebuke, but pour forth their invectives like a
- river that has overflown its banks, insulting and trampling
- upon them, when Fortune has already laid them at their
- feet, out of a sort of satisfaction to see their former state
- and grandeur reduced to the same level of fortune with
- themselves; it may not be improper to discourse a little
- upon this argument, and make some reply to that question
- of Euripides,—
- What need is there of friends when Fortune smiles?
-
I answer, to lower those lofty and extravagant thoughts
- which are usually incident to that condition; for wisdom
- in conjunction with prosperity is a rare talent and the lot
- of but few. Therefore most men stand in need of a borrowed prudence, to depress the tumors that attend an
- exuberant felicity; but when the turn of Fortune itself has
- abated the swelling, a man's very circumstances are sufficient of themselves to read him a lecture of repentance,
- so that all other grave and austere corrections are then
- superfluous and impertinent; and it is on the contrary
- more proper in such traverses of Fortune to enjoy the company of a compassionate friend,
-
-
And this is the way of generous and ingenuous friends.
- But they who servilely admire you in prosperity,—like
- old fractures and sprains, which (as Demosthenes
Well then, you say, when is a keen reprehension allowable, and when may we chide a friend severely
- indeed? I answer, when some important occasion requires
- it, as the stopping him in the career of his voluptuousness,
- anger, or insolence, the repressing his covetous humor or
-
-
Now there are several other accidental occasions - administered by our friends themselves, which a person - heartily solicitous for their interest will lay hold of. Thus - some have taken an opportunity of censuring them freely - from a question they have asked, from the relation of a - story, or the praise or dispraise of the same actions in - other men which they themselves have committed.
-Thus, they tell us, Demaratus coming from Corinth into
- Macedonia when Philip and his queen and son were at
- odds, and being after a gracious reception asked by the
- king what good understanding there was among the Grecians, replied, as being an old friend and acquaintance of
- his, Aye, by all means, sir, it highly becomes your majesty
-
-
Another seasonable opportunity of reproving your - friend for his vices is when some third person has already - mortified him upon the same account. For a courteous - and obliging man will dexterously silence his accuser, and - then take him privately to task himself, advising him—if - for no other reason, yet to abate the insolence of his enemies—to manage himself more prudently for the future. - For how could they open their mouths against you, what - could they have to reproach you with, if you would but - reform such and such vices which render you obnoxious to - their censure? And by this means the offence that was - given lies at his door who roughly upbraided him; whilst - the advantage he reaps is attributed to the person who candidly advised him. But there are some who have got yet a - genteeler way of chiding, and that is, by chastising others - for faults which they know their friends really stand guilty - of. As my master Ammonius, perceiving once at his afternoon lecture that some of his scholars had dined more - plentifully than became the moderation of students, immediately commanded one of his freedmen to take his own - son and whip him. For what? says he. The youngster, - forsooth, must needs have vinegar sauce to his meat; and - with that casting his eye upon us, he gave us to understand - that we likewise were concerned in the reprehension.
-Again, we must be cautious how we rebuke a friend
- in company, always remembering the repartee made upon
- Plato on that account. For Socrates having fallen one day
- very severely upon an acquaintance of his at table, Plato
- could not forbear to take him up, saying, Had it not been
- more proper, sir, to have spoken these things in private?
- To which Socrates instantly replied, And had it not been
- more proper for you to have told me so in private too
- And they say, Pythagoras one time ranted a friend of his so
- terribly before company, that the poor young man went and
- hanged himself; from which time the philosopher would
- never chide any man in the presence of another. For the
- discovery and cure of a vice, like that of a scandalous disease, ought to be in secret, and not like a public show
- transacted upon the theatre; for it is no way the part of a
- friend, but a mere cheat and trick, for one man to recommend himself to the standers-by and seek for reputation
- from the failures of another, like mountebank chirurgeons,
- who perform their operations on a stage to gain the greater practice. But besides the disgrace that attends a reproof of this nature (a thing that will never work any cure),
- we are likewise to consider that vice is naturally obstinate
- and loves to dispute its ground. For what Euripides says
- is true not only of love,
- The more 'tis checked, the more it presses on,
-
but of any other imperfection. If you lay a man open
- publicly for it and tell all, you are so far from reforming
- him that you force him to brave it out. And therefore, as
- Plato advises that old men who would teach the younger
- fry reverence should learn to revere them first, so certainly
- modestly to reprimand is the way to meet with a modest
- return. For he who warily attacks the criminal works
- upon his good nature by his own, and so insensibly undermines his vices. And therefore it would be much more
- proper to observe the rule in Homer
-
-
-
-
But above all, we ought not to discover the imperfections
- of an husband before his wife, nor of a father before his
- children, nor of a lover in company of his mistress, nor of
- masters in presence of their scholars, or the like; for it
- touches a man to the quick to be rebuked before those
- whom he would have think honorably of him. And I verily believe that it was not so much the heat of the wine as
- the sting of too public a reprehension, that enraged Alexander against Clitus. And Aristomenes, Ptolemy's preceptor, lost himself by awaking the king, who had dropped
- asleep one time at an audience of foreign embassadors; for
- the court parasites immediately took this occasion to express
- their pretendedly deep resentments of the disgrace done his
- majesty, suggesting that, if indeed the cares of the government had brought a little seasonable drowsiness upon him,
- he might have been told of it in private, but should not
- have had rude hands laid upon his person before so great
- an assembly; which so affected the king, that he presently
- sent the poor man a draught of poison, and made him drink
- it up. And Aristophanes says, Cleon blamed him for railing at Athens before strangers,
Again, what ThucydidesPhysician, heal thyself.
-
But because several accidental emergencies in conversation will now and then invite a man, though bad
- enough himself, to correct others, the most dexterous way
- of doing it will be to involve ourselves in the same guilt
- with those we reprehend; as in this passage of Homer,
-
-
-
and in this other,
- We are not worth one single Hector all.
-
Thus Socrates would handsomely twit the young men with
- their ignorance by professing his own, pretending for his
- part he had need with them to study morality and make
- more accurate enquiries into the truth of things. For a
- confession of the same guilt, and a seeming endeavor to
- reform ourselves as well as our friends, gives credit to the
- reprimand and recommends it to their affections. But he
- who gravely magnifies himself, whilst he imperiously detracts from others, as being a man forsooth of no imperfections, unless his age or a celebrated reputation indeed
- commands our attention, is only impertinent and troublesome
- to no purpose. And therefore it was not without reason
- that Phoenix, checking Achilles for his intemperate anger,
- confessed his own unhappiness in that particular, how he
-
-
But because a mind subject to the disorders of passion,
- like an inflamed eye that cannot bear a great and glaring
- light, is impatient of a rebuke, without some temperament
- to qualify and allay its poignancy, therefore the best
- remedy in this case will be to dash it with a little praise,
- as in the following:
-
-
-
And such rebukes as these are also most effectual in reclaiming those that are ready to fall into gross enormities:
- O where are Oedipus and all his riddles now?
-
and
- Is this the speech of daring Hercules?
-
For a mixture of both together not only abates and takes
- off from that roughness and command which a blunt reprehension seems to carry along with it, but raises in a man a
- generous emulation of himself, whilst the remembrance of
- his past virtues shames him out of his present vices and
- makes him propose his former actions for his future example. But if you compare him with other men, as with his
- fellow-citizens, his contemporaries, or relations, then vice,
-
- Ah! how unlike his sire is Tydeus' son!
-
and Ulysses in the tragedy called the Scyrians, speaking to
- Achilles,—
-
-
-
It is in the next place very improper for a man - immediately to retort or recriminate upon his monitor; - for this is the way to occasion heats and animosities - betwixt them, and will speak him rather impatient of - any reproof at all than desirous to recompensate the - kindness of one with another. And therefore it is better - to take his chiding patiently for the present; and if he - chance afterwards to commit a fault worth your remarking upon, you have then an opportunity of repaying him - in his own coin. For being reminded, without the least - intimation of a former pique or dissatisfaction, that he himself did not use to overlook the slips of his friend, he - will receive the remonstrance favorably at your hands, as - being the return of kindness rather than of anger and - resentment.
-Moreover, as Thucydides
But since a weak and foolish friend, as Euripides
- says of old age, has its strong as well as its feeble part, we
- ought to observe both, and cheerfully extol the one before
- we fall foul upon the other. For as we first soften iron in
- the fire and then dip it in water, to harden it into a due
- consistence; so, after we have warmed and mollified our
- friend by a just commendation of his virtues, we may then
- safely temper him with a moderate reprehension of his
- vices. We may then say, Are these actions comparable to
-
-
-
-
For as a prudent physician had rather recover his patient with sleep and good diet than with castor and scammony, so a candid friend, a good father or schoolmaster,
- will choose to reform men's manners by commendations
- rather than reproofs. For nothing in the world renders
- our corrections so inoffensive and withal so useful as to
- address ourselves to the delinquent in a kind, affectionate manner. And therefore we ought not to deal roughly
- with him upon his denial of the matter of fact, nor
- hinder him from making his just vindication; but we
- should rather handsomely help him out in his apology and
- mollify the matter. As Hector to his brother Paris,
- Unhappy man, by passion overruled;
-
suggesting that he did not quit the field, in his encounter
- with Menelaus, out of cowardice, but mere anger and indignation. And Nestor speaks thus to Agamemnon:
- You only yielded to the great impulse.
-
For to tell a man that he did such a thing through ignorance or inadvertency is, in my opinion, a much more
- genteel expression than bluntly to say, You have dealt unjustly or acted basely by me.
And to advise a man not to
- quarrel with his brother is more civil than to say, Don't
- you envy and malign him.
And Keep not company with
- that woman who debauches you
is softer language than
- Don't you debauch her.
-
And thus you see with what caution and moderation we
-
-
Thus Ulysses, when he would awaken the courage of
- Achilles, in one of the tragedies of Sophocles, tells him,
- that it was not the business of a supper that put him
- in such a fret, as he pretended, but because he was now
- arrived within sight of the walls of Troy. And when
- Achilles, in a great chafe at the affront, swore he would
- sail back again with his squadron and leave him to himself,
- Ulysses came upon him again with this rejoinder:
-
-
-
And thus, by representing to the bold and valiant the - danger of being reputed a coward, to the temperate and - sober that of being thought a debauchee, and to the liberal - and magnificent the chance of being called stingy and sordid, - we spur them on to brave actions and divert them from base - and ignominious ones.
-Indeed, when a thing is once done and past remedy, we
- ought to qualify and attemperate our reproofs, and commiserate rather than reprimand. But if it be a business of
- pure prevention, of stopping a friend in the career of his
- irregularities, our applications must be vehement, inexorable, and indefatigable; for this is the proper season for a
- man to show himself a true monitor and a friend indeed.
- But we see that even enemies reprove each other for faults
- already committed. As Diogenes said pertinently enough
- to this purpose, that he who would act wisely ought to be
- surrounded either with good friends or flagrant enemies;
-
-
But certainly it is much more eligible to forbear the - commission of a fault by hearkening to the good advice of - our friends, than afterwards to repent of it by reason of the - obloquy of our enemies. And therefore, if for no other - reason, we ought to apply our reprehensions with a great - deal of art and dexterity, because they are the most sovereign physic that a friend can prescribe, and require not - only a due mixture of ingredients in the preparation of - them but a seasonable juncture for the patient to take - them in.
-But because, as it has been before observed, reproofs - usually carry something of trouble and vexation along with - them, we must imitate skilful physicians, who, when they - have made an incision in the flesh, leave it not open to the - smart and torment that attends it, but chafe and foment it - to assuage the pain. So he who would admonish dexterously must not immediately give a man over to the sting - and anguish of his reprehensions, but endeavor to skin - over the sore with a more mild and diverting converse; - like stone-cutters, who, when they have made a fracture in - their statues, polish and brighten them afterwards. But if - we leave them in pain with their wounds and resentments, - and (as it were) with the scars of our reproofs yet green - upon them, they will hardly be brought to admit of any - lenitive we shall offer for the future. And therefore they - who will take upon them to admonish their friends ought - especially to observe this main point, not to leave them - immediately upon it, nor abruptly break off the conference - with disobliging and bitter expressions.
-optical character recognition
-τῷ σφόδρα φιλεῖν ἔαυτόν, ὦ Ἄντίοχε Φιλόπαππε , φάσκοντι συγγνώμην
- μὲν ἅπαντας ὁ Πλάτων
εἰ μὲν οὖν, ὡς τὰ πλεῖστα τῶν ἄλλων κακῶν,
-
-
καὶ οὐ δυστυχοῦντι μόνον
-
-
κατʼ Εὐριπίδην,
χαλεπὸν οὖν φαίη τις ἄν ἐστι διακρῖναι τὸν κόλακα καὶ τὸν φίλον, εἰ
- μήθʼ ἡδονῇ μήτʼ ἐπαίνῳ διαφέρουσι· καὶ γὰρ ἐν ὑπουργίαις καὶ
- διακονίαις
-
τίνα οὖν δεῖ φυλάττεσθαι; τὸν μὴ δοκοῦντα μηδʼ ὁμολογοῦντα κολακεύειν,
- ὃν οὐκ ἔστι λαβεῖν περὶ τοὐπτανεῖον, οὐδʼ ἁλίσκεται σκιὰν καταμετρῶν
- ἐπὶ
ὅτι μέντοι γε πάντων ἣδιστόν ἐστιν ἡ φιλία
-
-
ὃ δὲ πάντων ἐστὶν αὐτοῦ πανουργότατον , αἰσθανόμενος τὴν
- παρρησίαν καὶ λεγομένην καὶ δοκοῦσαν
-
εὐθὺς οὖν ἀπὸ τῆς ἀρχῆς σκοπῶμεν. ἀρχὴν δὲ φιλίας; ἔφαμεν εἶναι
- τοῖς πλείστοις τὴν ταὐτὰ
-
-
εἰδὼς οὖν ὁ κόλαξ ὅτι τὸ χαίρειν τοῖς ὁμοίοις καὶ τὸ
- χρῆσθαι καὶ ἀγαπᾶν ἔμφυτόν ἐστι, ταύτῃ
-
πῶς οὖν ἐλέγχεται καὶ τίσιν ἁλίσκεται διαφοραῖς, οὐκ ὢν ὅμοιος
- οὐδὲ γιγνόμενος ἀλλὰ μιμούμενος ὅμοιον; πρῶτον μὲν ὁρᾶν δεῖ τὴν
- ὁμαλότητα τῆς προαιρέσεως καὶ τὸ ἐνδελεχές, εἰ χαίρει τε τοῖς
-
-
καὶ οὐδὲν αὐτῷ πρᾶγμα πρὸς τὸ θηρίον, ἀλλʼ αὐτὸν
- ἐκσαγηνεύει καὶ περιβάλλεται τὸν κυνηγόν. ἂν δὲ θηρεύῃ φιλόλογον καὶ
- φιλομαθῆ νέον, αὖθις ἐν βιβλίοις ἐστὶ καὶ πώγων ποδήρης καθεῖται καὶ
- τριβωνοφορία τὸ
-
-
-
τὰς δὲ τοῦ κόλακος ὥσπερ πολύποδος τροπὰς ῥᾷστα φωράσειεν ἄν τις
- αὐτὸς ἐπὶ πολλὰ δοκῶν τρέπεσθαι, καὶ ψέγων μὲν ὃν ἐπῄνει πρότερον
- βίον,
-
-
ἑτέραν δὲ δεῖ ταῖς ὁμοιώσεσι τοιαύτην παραφυλάττειν
-
-
κατὰ τὸν Σοφοκλέα,
-
παρασίτου γὰρ ὁ τοιοῦτος εἰκονισμός ἐστι
-
-
οὐ μὴν ἀλλὰ ταῦτα μὲν εἰς τὸν οἰκεῖον ἀναθώμεθα τοῦ λόγου τόπον·
- ἐκεῖνο δὲ μὴ παρῶμεν ἐν ταῖς μιμήσεσι τὸ σόφισμα τοῦ κόλακος, ὅτι
- κἂν
-
-
-
ἐπεὶ δʼ ὥσπερ εἴρηται καὶ τὸ τῆς ἡδονῆς κοινόν ἐστι χαίρει γὰρ οὐχ
- ἧττον τοῖς φίλοις ὁ χρηστὸς ἢ τοῖς κόλαξιν ὁ φαῦλος; , φέρε καὶ
- τοῦτο διορίσωμεν. ἔστι δὲ διορισμὸς ἡ πρὸς τὸ τέλος ἀναφορὰ
-
-
καὶ τὸ οὐδέ κεν ἄλλο
-
ὅτε σὺν ἐπαἱνῳ καὶ χάριτι μεγαλύνων καὶ εὐφραίνων ἄγει
- πρὸς τὸ καλόν, ὥσπερ οὗτος
-
-Τ̔εῦκρε, φίλη κεφαλή, Τελαμώνιε, κοίρανε λαῶν,
- βάλλʼ οὕτωʼ
-
-
ὅπου δʼ αὖ πάλιν ἐπιστροφῆς δεῖται, λόγῳ δήκτῃ καὶ
- παρρησίᾳ κηδεμονικῇ καθαπτόμενος
-
-
ἔστι δʼ ὅπου καὶ τὸ ἔργον ἅμα τῷ λόγῳ συνῆψεν, ὡς
- Μενέδημος Ἀσκληπιάδου τοῦ φίλου τὸν υἱὸν
τοῖς μὲν οὖν ταύροις τὸν οἶστρον ἐνδύεσθαι παρὰ τὸ οὖς λέγουσι,
- καὶ τοῖς κυσὶ τὸν κρότωνα· τῶν δὲ φιλοτίμων ὁ κόλαξ τὰ ὦτα κατέχων
- τοῖς ἐπαίνοις καὶ προσπεφυκὼς δυσαπότριπτός ἐστιν.
διὸ φυλακτέον ἐστὶ μάλιστα τὸν κόλακα
-
-
-
-
τοὺς δὲ κομψοτέρους ὁρῶν ἐνταῦθα μάλιστα προσέχοντας αὐτῷ
-
ἐπιψαύων καὶ ἀποπειρώμενος. νῦν μὲν γὰρ ἑτέρων περὶ αὐτοῦ
- τινων ἐπαίνους ἀπαγγέλλει, καθάπερ οἱ
-
ἕτεροι τοίνυν, ὥσπερ οἱ ζῳγράφοι τὰ φωτεινὰ καὶ λαμπρὰ τοῖς σκιεροῖς
- καὶ σκοτεινοῖς ἐπιτείνουσιν ἐγγὺς παρατιθεμένοις, οὕτω τῷ ψέγειν
-
-
-
-
τὸ δὲ γένος τοῦτο τῶν ἀρνουμένων ἐπαίνων πανουργοτέρας
- δεόμενον εὐλαβείας ἐλεγκτέον ἐπίτηδες
-
-
ἐπαινέσαι καὶ συνεπιτυφῶσαι βουλόμενος
ἔτι τοίνυν ὥσπερ ἔνιοι τὴν ζῳγραφίαν σιωπῶσαν ἀπεφήναντο ποιητικήν,
- οὕτως ἔστι τις κολακείας σιωπώσης ἔπαινος. ὥσπερ γὰρ οἱ θηρεύοντες
-
εἶτα τῶν μὲν Στωϊκῶν οὐδʼ ἀκούειν ἔνιοι ὑπομένουσι τὸν σοφὸν
- ὁμοῦ πλούσιον καλὸν εὐγενῆ
-
ταῦτα μὲν οὖν ἀπόχρη περὶ τούτων· ἐφεξῆς
-
καταλείπειν ἄθικτον καὶ ἀμίμητον. ἐπεὶ δὲ φεύγοντες
-
ἔτι δὲ τούτων ἕτεροι πανουργότεροι καὶ
-
καὶ ταυτὶ μὲν ἐλάττονά ἐστιν. ἐκεῖνα δʼ ἢδη χαλεπὰ καὶ λυμαινόμενα
- τοὺς ἀνοήτους, ὅταν εἰς τἀναντία πάθη καὶ νοσήματα κατηγορῶσιν ὥσπερ
- Ἱμέριος ὁ κόλαξ τῶν πλουσίων τινὰ τὸν
-
οὕτως Ἀντώνιον οἱ φίλοι τῆς Αἰγυπτίας ἐρῶντα καὶ καόμενον
- ἀνέπειθον ὡς ὑπʼ ἐκείνης ἐρῷτο, καὶ λοιδοροῦντες ἐκάλουν ἀπαθῆ καὶ
- ὑπερήφανον. “ἡ
-
-
καὶ περιορᾷς αὐτὴν ἀνιωμένην” ὁ δʼ ἡδέως ἐλεγχόμενος
-
εἷς δέ τις ἔοικε τρόπος εἶναι φυλακῆς τὸ γιγνώσκειν καὶ μνημονεύειν
- ἀεὶ ὅτι τῆς ψυχῆς τὸ
-
ἐπὶ δὲ τὰς χρείας καὶ τὰς ὑπουργίας ἴωμεν ἢδη· καὶ γὰρ ἐν ταύταις
- πολλὴν ἀπεργάζεται σύγχυσιν
-
-
καὶ πολλῶν νὴ Δία καὶ περιττῶν. ὥσπερ οὖν ἐν
-
ἔστι μὲν οὖν καὶ ταῦτα δηλώματα τοῖς
-
-
-
-
καὶ γὰρ οἱ κωμικοὶ τοιούτους εἰσάγουσιν
-
-
-
ἀλλʼ ὥσπερ οἱ τραγῳδοὶ χοροῦ δέονται φίλων συνᾳδόντων
-
-
-
-
ἀλλʼ οὐδὲ κατάκεισαι σὺ δεξιῶς,” ἅμα δὲ διακινῶν τὸ
- προσκεφάλαιον αὐτοῦ, λαθὼν ὑπέβαλε τὸ κερμάτιον.
-
οὐ τοίνυν μάλιστα τῷ περὶ τὰς ὑπουργίας ἐπαχθεῖ τοῦ κόλακος οὐδὲ
- τῇ περὶ τὰς ἐπαγγελίας
-
-
μᾶλλον οὖν κἀκεῖνον ἀποτρέψει τῶν μὴ προσηκόντων ἂν δὲ μὴ
- πείθῃ, καλὸν τὸ Φωκίωνος πρὸς Ἀντίπατρον, “ονʼ οὐ δύνασαί μοι καὶ
- φίλῳ χρῆσθαι καὶ κόλακι,” τουτέστι καὶ φίλῳ καὶ μὴ,φίλῳ. ·
- συνεργεῖν
-
οὐχ ἥκιστα δʼ ἄν τις αὐτὸν ἐν τῇ πρὸς τοὺς ἄλλους φίλους διαθέσει
- καταμάθοι πολὺ τοῦ
ὅθεν ἀρχόμενοί τε τοῦ λόγου παρεκελευσάμεθα καὶ νῦν παρακελευόμεθα τὸ
- φίλαυτον ἐκκόπτειν ἑαυτῶν καὶ τὴν οἴησιν· αὕτη γὰρ ἡμᾶς
- προκολακεύουσα μαλακωτέρους ποιεῖ τοῖς θυραίοις
-
ʼ· · ὥσπερ οὖν κῆράς τινας ἐπούσας τῇ παρρησίᾳ πλείονας ὁρῶντες
- πρῶτον ἀφαιρῶμεν αὐτῆς τὴν φιλαυτίαν, εὖ μάλα φυλαττόμενοι μὴ διά τι
- τῶν
-
εἴκει καὶ καρτερεῖ, τῷ κηδεμονικῷ τοῦ λόγου καὶ
-
-
παρεῖχε τῷ Πατρόκλῳ σιωπῇ καταφέρειν αὐτοῦ πολλὰ τοιαῦτα
-
-
-
δεύτερον τοίνυν ὥσπερ ἐκκαθαίροντες ὕβριν ἅπασαν καὶ γέλωτα καὶ
- σκῶμμα καὶ βωμολοχίαν
-
-
αἰτίαν φιλίας ὥσπερ σόφισμα λοιδορίας προφερόμενος. ἐπεὶ καὶ
- τοῖς κωμικοῖς πολλὰ πρὸς τὸ θέατρον
-
ἐπεὶ δὲ πολλοὶ τοὺς φίλους εὖ φερομένους ἐν τοῖς πράγμασιν οὔτʼ
- ἀξιοῦσιν οὔτε τολμῶσι ῥυθμίζειν,
-
-
-
-
παρηγοροῦντος καὶ παραθαρρύνοντος, ὥσπερ τοῦ Κλεάρχου τὸ
- πρόσωπον ὁ Ξενοφῶν
-
Οὗτος ὁ τρόπος τῶν γενναίων φίλων· οἱ δʼ ἀγεννεῖς καὶ
- ταπεινοὶ τῶν εὐτυχούντων κόλακες, “ὥσπερ τὰ
-
-
ἐν τίσιν οὖν σφοδρὸν εἶναι δεῖ τὸν φίλον καὶ πότε τῷ τόνῳ χρῆσθαι
- τῆς παρρησίας; ὅταν ἡδονῆς
-
ὁ μὲν οὖν κοινὸς οὕτω προωρίσθω καιρός· οὓς δὲ παρέχουσιν αὐτοὶ
- πολλάκις οὐ χρὴ προΐεσθαι
-
ἕτερος δὲ καιρός ἐστι νουθεσίας ὅταν ὑπʼ ἄλλων λοιδορηθέντες ἐφʼ
- οἷς ἁμαρτάνουσι ταπεινοί τε γένωνται καὶ συσταλῶσιν. ᾧ χρῷτʼ ἂν
- ἐμμελῶς χαρίεις τοὺς μὲν
-
ἔτι τοίνυν εὐλαβητέον ἐστὶν ἐν πολλοῖς παρρησίᾳ χρῆσθαι πρὸς φίλον,
- ἐνθυμούμενον τὸ
-
-
-
-
καὶ παροξύνει τοὺς Ἀθηναίους. διὸ δεῖ φυλάττεσθαι καὶ τοῦτο
- μετὰ τῶν ἄλλων τοὺς μὴ παρεπιδείκνυσθαι μηδὲ δημαγωγεῖν ἀλλʼ
- ὀνησιφόρως καὶ θεραπευτικῶς χρῆσθαι τῇ παρρησίᾳ βουλομένους καὶ μὴν
-
-
-
οὐ μὴν ἀλλʼ ἐπεὶ φαύλους γε ὄντας αὐτοὺς ἑτέροις τε τοιούτοις
- ὁμιλοῦντας ἐξάγει τὸ πράγματα
-
-
-
-
καὶ ὁ Σωκράτης οὕτως ἀτρέμα τοὺς νέους ἤλεγχεν, ὡς μηδʼ
- αὐτὸς ἀπηλλαγμένος ἀμαθίας, ἀλλὰ μετʼ
-
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ἵνα μὴ δοκῇ νουθετεῖν ἐκεῖνον ὡς αὐτὸς ἀπαθὴς ὢν
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καὶ
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ἥκιστα δὲ προσήκει νουθετούμενον ἀντινουθετεῖν καὶ παρρησίᾳ παρρησίαν
- ἀντεκφέρειν· ταχὺ
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ἔτι τοίνυν ὁ μὲν Θουκυδίδης
ἐπεὶ δʼ οὔτε τῷ γήρᾳ πάντα πρόσεστι κακὰ
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ἠθικώτερον γὰρ οἶμαι τοῦ “ἠδίκησασ” καὶ “ἠσχημόνησασ” τὸ “οὐκ
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καὶ πρὸς ταῦτα πάλιν τοῦ Ἀχιλλέως διαγανακτοῦντος καὶ
- ἀποπλεῖν λέγοντος
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ἐπεὶ τοίνυν, ὥσπερ εἴρηται, πολλάκις ἡ παρρησία τῷ θεραπευομένῳ
- λυπηρὰ πέφυκε, δεῖ μιμεῖσθαι
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