index.js

const Discord = require('discord.js');
const fs = require('fs');
const client = new Discord.Client();
const prefixes = ['.'];
const descriptions = ['.help - hopefully you figured this one out.'
		      , '.ping - for if you want to check that the bot works.'
		      , '.owo - an especially egregious owoizer.'
		      , '.stiles - a gift, from me to you.'
		      , '.github - Gigabitten/froggo if you don\'t care about the details.'
		     ];

client.on('ready', () => {
    console.log(`Logged in as ${client.user.tag}!`);
    client.user.setPresence({ game: { name: "frogger || .help" }});
});

client.on('message', msg => {
    trigger = msg.content;
    trigger = parse(trigger);
    author = msg.author;
    const chan = msg.channel;
    if(prefixes.includes(trigger.charAt(0)) && !author.bot) {
	processed = trigger.substr(1).split(' ');
	if(processed[0] === 'ping') ping(author, chan);
	else if(processed[0] === 'help') help(chan);
	else if(processed[0] === 'github') git(chan);
	else if(processed[0] === 'owo') owo(processed, chan);
	else if(processed[0] === 'stiles') stiles(chan);
	else chan.send("Sorry, I don't recognize that command!");
    }
});

function stiles(chan) {
    const embed = new Discord.RichEmbed()
	  .setImage('https://i.imgur.com/Eh6cKRK.gif');
    chan.send({embed});
}

function owo(words, chan) {
    if(words.length > 1) {
	delete words[0];
	chan.send(owohelp(words.join(" ")) + " >.<");
    }
    else chan.send("You need to put something after the command, silly!");
}

function owohelp(nowo) {
    if(nowo.length > 0) return owochar(nowo.charAt(0)) + owohelp(nowo.substr(1));
    else return "";
    // *notices recursion* senpai what's this? uwu    
}

function owochar(c) {
    if(c === 'r') return 'w';
    if(c === 'o') return 'owo';
    if(c === 'u') return 'uwu';
    else return c;
}

function git(chan) {
    chan.send('This project is open source, licensed under the GPL! You can find the repo here: https://github.com/Gigabitten/froggo');
}

function ping(user, chan) {
    chan.send(`${author.username} is the big gay.`);
}

function help(chan) {
    chan.send(descriptions.join("\n"));
}

function parse(trigger) {
    trigger = trigger.toLowerCase();
    return trigger;
}

function syncRead(file) {
    return fs.readFileSync(file, 'utf8');
}

function syncWrite(file, data) {
    fs.writeFileSync(file, data);
}

client.login('YOUR_TOKEN_GOES_HERE')