diff --git a/.nojekyll b/.nojekyll new file mode 100644 index 00000000..e69de29b diff --git a/404.html b/404.html new file mode 100644 index 00000000..a3c99933 --- /dev/null +++ b/404.html @@ -0,0 +1,31 @@ + + + +
This is going to be my first review, and we are setting the bar pretty low today. I am reviewing Ottogi brand yeul ramen. According to the packaging, this ramen should be super spicy: a claim I will be testing. The bag feels nice to my bony fingers. Crinkling loud and clear for my spoopy cats to hear. They came to investigate and managed to steal my right arm.
The noodles are a classic mix of wheat flour, tapioca, various starches, and wheat gluten. The soup mix is a mix of spice and other flavors. The spice is made up of a mix of red pepper, black pepper, and chili extract. Other flavors include kelp extract, dried chinese cabbage, and garlic. One interesting ingredient is green tea extract at the end. Is this normal? I don't have a clue. I'm just a bone daddy looking for a tasty time.
20mg calcium.
Once the water started boiling, I tossed in the contents of the soup packets and started mixing. I couldn't smell anything as it cooked. I wouldn't blame the ramen for my lack of olfaction.
After 4 minutes of cooking, was it worth it? The noodles were boring and thin. They barely seem to have increased in volume after cooking. Was it super spicy? Hardly. I downed the bowl and it may have left my jawbone red, but it failed to burn through the flesh I have left. One unique characteristic was the broth itself. It tasted quite similar to kimchi, stronger in flavor than other ramen broths I have encountered before. While not very spicy, the broth was uniquely flavorful and the noodles were standard fare. 4/10
+
I have really been chipping away at this site for a bit. I have wanted a place to dump my thoughts and projects for + a long time now, and it is finally here! Thank you for being willing to listen to my musings. + + Will I post at a consistent rate? Of course not, I struggle to remember to eat during a given day. Typing into this + void of a webpage is going to occur when extra-special super awesome glints of mania push me to dump my thoughts. +
+ This first one was a short one, and far from the best one. +
+ The morning has been an interesting one. I woke up around 11 am after a late night of Mystery Science Theater 3000. I got up, dressed, and went to do the dishes. I got + to the end and lo, some unholy, moldy coffee grounds needed dealt with. My ignorant mind said, "THROW THEM IN THE + HOLE!", and down they went into the disposal. I turned it on and the hum of death went brrrrrrrr. + Maintenance came by and found it wasn't the grounds, but it was sticks...sticks...from outside. My wife has + collected sticks on occasion, and we believe our kitties must have dropped the sticks into the disposal as an act of + rebellion. + + With my first-world problem resolved, I started on some pasta and meatballs. Vodka sauce has + become a secret passion of mine. We found some vegan vodka sauce at Whole Foods, and the meatballs are just the + Gardein branch frozen meatballs. I always make pasta in the Instant Pot and I can't + recommend it enough. + + With the pasta done and the rest of the Saturday ahead of me, I think I will daydream about making games and start + Twin Peaks. +
Have you ever been playing Blaseball when something really tugged at your heart and made you ask, "Where am I going + to play Papa's Pizzeria after December 2020?" + Many browsers are ending Flash support + come December of this year. My generation grew up on these games, and I would argue that these games paved the way + for the modern indie video game market. The newest generation won't have these games, but instead has the Android + and Apple app stores. Maybe I have nostalgia blinders, but I really do believe that the mediocre titles of the Flash + era either matched, or at least came near to matching the quality of modern mobile games. Many influential mobile + games even started as Flash, such as Kingdom Rush, Canabalt, and Bloons Tower Defense. + + Flash is not inherently good. From a technical standpoint, we have made incredible progress in enabling developers + to build their creations beyond the likes of + Flash. The spirit of Flash is what was special. Before commercialization and ad profits entered the picture, these + games were made by developers with simple wishes to share their dreams with others. + + I work on games in the hopes of pushing myself and others to do this very thing. In the memory of Flash, I will + continue to recreate my + favorite Flash games on this site, and hopefully bring some unique creations up along the way. +
+ Oh dear Lord there has been a lot since last time. Amongst an insurrection on the US capitol and a stock war over + GameStop, my wife and I bought a house and got a third cat, Fish. + + I learned a few new programming languages including two new favorites of mine: Scala and Nim (All good languages + seem to have website domains of the form www.[language name here]-lang.com). I mostly ported the Komodo + game engine to Scala using LibGDX and only gave up once Java UI threads were getting in the way of easy UI + development. It was fun and all, but I think the real winner and final home for the Komodo engine is with Nim. + + Nim satisfies my urge to write what looks like pseudocode while enjoying the benefits of a statically typed and + compiled language. No attempt by the Nim developers to make a compiler smarter than two of some of the largest + open-source communities (GCC and Clang), + but instead harnesses these behemoths by simply generating C-family code and passing it off to your local system + compiler. With a powerful macro system, Komodo has never looked better and I am excited to see what can be done with + Nim and Raylib. + + Apart from code, my life has changed in other ways. My teammates at work left for other teams or other + companies, leaving me alone to develop and maintain an app servicing a workforce around ~2,000 strong. I am + excited to say that this will not be the case forever, as I will be transitioning to an SRE position once my + project is ready to hand off to a new team. Work is great. Life is great. For those who cannot say these same + things for themselves, reach out to those who love you and have faith that this will all come to an end + eventually. +
+ Somehow my blog posting is more consistent than I expected it would be and that is sad. Like always, a lot has been + going on in my life with much of it being generally positive. I am currently transitioning off of the team I started + on at my work. I thought I would be more nostalgic in this moment, but I am simply relieved. Feature development for + users is not my cup of tea any longer. I have been steeping myself deeper and deeper into different programming + languages (primarily Nim and Elm) and + even found a new code editor I intend to slowly replace VSCode with (the + editor is called Lite, but I am specifically using the Lite-XL fork). Needless to say, the technology I use in my life is + in a constant state of change and I wouldn't have it any other way. + + From a non-technical standpoint, I have some general exciting life updates! I have struggled with my weight for my + entire life. I have been a vegan for the past few years, experienced some improvement in general with my health, but + I was still struggling to fight my food addiction and lose weight. I had been spiralling in private, feeling + hopeless and getting scared I would end up like many others around me who never got their weight under control. + After watching the documentary Diet Fiction, I decided to remove + processed foods from my life and eat just whole foods. Eating only whole foods has had both a physical and spiritual + effect on me already. I was 277 lbs on March 5th, and over the course of this month I have steadily dropped down to + 262.2 lbs and I intend to keep going. My mood has improved, my energy levels have skyrocketed, and my understanding + of food has changed forever. + + My wife and I have also been making great progress on our backyard homestead and these two things combined are + prompting me to think. As a Christian, I have been thinking about what eating only whole foods means from a + spiritual perspective and my thoughts are best summed up in this nearly two hour documentary on YouTube. As succinctly as + possible, eating whole foods and my wife and I's work to grow our household's food are driven by an innate desire to + connect with the roles and skills God imbued us with as stewards of the Earth. It is hard to argue against the + damage humans have caused throughout all of history, and maybe the answer to humanity's environmental woes lies in + the creation narrative. The spiritual aspects of this will not connect for everyone, but the benefits of growing + your own food and consuming what comes from the Earth can be taken on their own merits. + + Do I believe processed foods are inherently evil? No. + + Do I believe you can't live a healthy life unless you only eat whole foods? Of course not. + + Though, I leave you with a question to ask yourself: Why do humans act as if we are not a party within + nature, but rather some strictly destructive external force on nature? +
Hello baby carrier blog
Hello book blog
Words, writing, and overly complicated thoughts have been my relationship to the world ever since I learned to read and finished speech therapy so people could understand me. Yadda yadda yadda, this is not the first time I've started a blog but it might just stick this time. I'm in a transformative part of life and getting to a place where I have more time dedicated to myself, which partly displays as writing out my experiences and feelings as a form of self care and decided vulnerability to the world. Speaking is still tough for me sometimes, but writing gives my brain the space to formulate and readress in a flashier fashion. That is, I think I sound more interesting over long form text than any other medium of communication. In recent years (since graduating college) my need to write in longform manner ceased, and electively I made attempts at journaling but as per usual my neurodivergent brain had trouble resuming the routine when interrupted, leading to sporadic entries. I like timeliness and order as a person, yet I struggle to maintain it on completely self-driven projects. If a third party is dependent on me for something, it will get done, but I fail to value my projects and time enough to pursue them independently. Rather than grind against this nature, I'm choosing to accept the cyclicly sporadic nature of my content creation and interests and just do something whenever I feel the urge. Otherwise I'm conditioned to endlessly plan and what if things and feel the need to perfectly execute some monetizable SEO perfect blog with a dozen entries from the getgo... which is just setting myself up to never sit down and do the 50 hours of work that would take me to make it feel good enough before even telling a single soul. Instead, here I am on a cute Blazer project setup by James ready to be a little less particular about what I write into the world.
Roommate birthday and finally taking time to think lands me writing again. Last time I worked on this site, two weeks ago, it was my husbands birthday - me getting back into some level of coding was the gift he wanted, so that's when he got me set up to write these on ExoKomodo since it's his passion project. Frankly I know I can benefit from it too, and having the encouragement of living with the guy who runs it helps me remember it exists. Eventually I may come up with some elaborate structure, tone, voice, and style for my blog posts but for now I simply need to get out of my own head and practice writing again. As a child I was a prolific reader and writer, but the demands of acadamia since I started college at 14 quelled my exuberance for language and communication beyond strict necessity. Sounds cheesy, but I've always felt like I was a 'writer' despite not actually writing much; how many thoughts have I had about writing? Since I'm on the autism spectrum, I think written words have been the most reliable form of communication. Without overthinking, I can express thoughts more fully, without feeling rushed and with just the slight restriction on flow by how fast I can write. I started lots of writing projects, diaries, journals, blogs, etc as a kid but nothing serial made it past three editions on any sort of regular timeline, accidentally abandoned by my neurodivergence. Writing these as a stream of conciousness, I hope to unlock parts of my inner dialogue that I've sealed in soundproof coffins for too long. By more actively letting go of my thought reins, I may undo some of my habituated anxiety. Old habits won't go away because you wish they would, only when you replace them with different behaviors. Part of the reason I'm writing this now is because I am establishing new routines to break old habits. Each day of the week has a theme or features - Monday is Media-Free (and for planning the week ahead), so we have app limits set on social and streaming media to encourage more creative or interactive activity. Thus, I'm writing and enjoying myself in a way that is not passively consuming the lives of others; instead I'm doing something with my own, even if it's as little as writing some sentences into an HTML file to push via VSCode. This is the wild frontier, we don't need your dang PressWord and SpaceSquares. Don't worry, I don't expect anyone to understand all of my references - except maybe James. Anyway, since it's our bestie's birthday I'm gonna DoorDash some food... maybe chikn wings, since last post was the Pilot. :)
I gave birth for the first time nearly 6 months ago but I'm still struggling to feel like a mother. I quit my six figure career to rest the third trimester and be a stay at home mom. The vision was that I would immediately transform into a wizard matriarchal homemaker, who both knows what's for dinner and has the ingredients (and time and energy) to make it every night. Also lunch. And breakfast. In reality, meals get skipped and blood sugars crash and we lack the energy to clean a kitchen only to dirty it again so more energy is spent crying about it than is able to be used to form a long term solution. Help is needed, but I don't know how to articulate my issues, or where to even begin. I get distracted easily, but also need to have a tangible goal in mind to work towards. I feel so busy trying to keep our house somewhat clean and usable that I never feel I have a chance to look up before another week has passed, and oh the weekend has come, which means my partner is off work and able to help but the combination of wanting to finish things while I have a chance but also wanting to rest from full time babyminding means I end up in an anxious spiral of neither happening well. What I realized today is the hard part at this point is opening up at all. I'm in the throes of months-long postpartum depression, and feel mostly responsible for getting myself here, how true that is, I'm not sure. Incredible amounts of self restraint and biting my tongue out of learned shame responses has gotten me to this point. My dad once got mad at me for posting vague details about my home life on the internet when I was 14, declaring I was bringing shame to our family and lying. Now I'm 25 and still scared to post what I think on the internet for just anyone to read even though that's all I've ever wanted to do. I adored reading diaries, journals, and autobiographies growing up, and have always been inspired to make one of my own but failed to have the confidence in being interesting, pointed, concise, or consistent enough to make it worthwhile. Well now, I am a fully grown adult woman and mother, discarding shame and trusting my own intuition on what is and isn't okay to post on the internet. No, I am not at my best when writing this. But there are no definitions of what my best is anymore. There are no guarantees of progression, ever. But if something might work, like venting personal history on the fringes of the web, I should give it a go.
My first ventures into mom van life have gone less than stellar. When baby was about 3.5 months, I had to pull over twice driving the 18 miles back from the horse barn because my body-mind system could not handle the sound of her crying out of boredom and loneliness in the back seat. No amount of talking, singing, or promises of how soon we would be home can placate a small baby who cannot see their parent. She was fed and pottied just before departing, so it seemed she was just lonely (maybe she needed to burp, frankly that's been the hardest issue for me to diagnose as a mom). But on the second time pulling over, I climbed in the backseat on the carpool lane shoulder of 280 through downtown San Jose, accidentally kicking my Prius's gear shift into neutral, sending us rolling backward in my panic to comfort my baby in the backseat. Curse words filling the car's air, I got the car truly parked before facetiming my husband to talk me through getting the 13 minutes remaining home. It took a month for me to attempt leaving the house alone with my child again. We survived the 7 minutes to the Target parking lot, but the cries started when we turned in and I was in tears myself by the time I found a parking spot, which was too far from the entrance for the shopping cart to be pushed all the way to my car. On the way back, we took a wrong turn because of crying and had to yet again facetime dad to calmly talk us through getting the mile home. So it's been another month of relegating my trips out of the house to his schedule of being able to watch her or drive us all where I want to go. This means grocery shopping doesn't really happen, and I have yet to venture to wherever it is that moms go to make mom friends. Of course, groups and mama meetups have been suggested to me by an older pre-covid generation trying to help me out of this hole, but the missing piece is that I can't make it driving anywhere with child in tow. Now another month has gone by for my will to face my fears and try again. But with so much pressure on myself to leave the house, maybe I overlook a pottytunity and don't really secure the iPad I've finally decided to utilize as special car seat screen time, so it falls 4 minutes into our 13 minute drive and the potential energy of that effort goes to waste. We hit every long red light, and I visualize my cry-resistant coping shield blocking the noise, but 7 minutes later, 1.2 miles from my initial destination of the pet food and grocery stores, I abandon course and pull into the nearest parking lot with tears and comfort her. A shaken, quaking mess I text my partner a quick update. He calls, and assures me he can order the pet food for delivery and that I should try to enjoy the mall with baby, as she was due for a nap in a wrap anyway. Taking deep breaths and a step at a time, I jaywalked across the mall road as there was no reasonable pedestrian crossing from the market parking lot I ended up in, and had minimal effort left to give. Get to the froyo shop, and go from there. Baby conked in the carrier almost immediately, but 18 lbs strapped to my chest and the incessant echoing of coin operated ride music quickly becomes overstimulating for me. I consumed a bowl full of cold fruity sugar on my way to manage goal number two, purchasing forever stamps from the post office downstairs, not that we're mailing anything but because they won't get any cheaper. With a freshly sleeping baby, it's best to avoid conversations in loud places with strangers, so I wandered to the self service machine, and selected my options for forever stamps, expecting it to dispense the usual graphic stickers. Instead, after commiting to the purchase, it had to bypass and start printing QR code postage on thermal paper labels. Each label printed and cut individually, so my 20 count purchase and the slamming of the drop box label from the elderly woman next to us was too cacophanous in the tile and metal P.O. Box walls to let a baby rest. She was about 50 minutes into her rest on my chest, so while a sufficient nap for her I was overwhelmed by my suddenly less easily stored stamp hoard and hadn't had time to recuperate my mental state and figure out a next step or purpose for being at the mall, so my heart sank in my chest as it does when she wakes up before I feel ready. I hate that I feel like that, and want to naturally greet my child with joy when they wake, not be scaredly shushing a silent happy baby hoping they'll fall asleep when I know damn well that was enough sleep for a less stimulated baby and then the mom guilt cycle starts of feeling like I'll never know how to stay ahead of my kid and properly engage them to optimize development. I have all these tools (the internet) at my disposal, why aren't I the perfect super parent and early childhood development expert I want to be already? Time. Experience. Observation. Three elements I lack, which I can't rush. I can practice observation, by being more mindful in the moment and developing habits for myself like this of writing down my experiences and actively learning from them. Key word is active learning. I do so much passive learning by having a Curiosity Stream video playing in the background of my daily tasks, but I've disengaged from the active learning and reflection that so dearly sits with me. Writing out the reports for a science experiment always felt tedious to me when homeschooling, but that was definitely how the information locked into my brain. I had to experience it once, but then play it back through in my incredible short term visual memory and actually experience it again, observing and learning from it. Like watching a movie again, you notice more and connect mroe dots. This practice of reflecting and writing will help seal my day to day memories, and process the purpose of many life experiences that I've become too caught up in trying to maximize. Going to work on reliving my own life and being intimate with myself in that way. Letting myself dwell on what is. With an alert infant and temp sensitive stamps shoved in my fanny pack, I trudged back to the car, jaywalking again, just trying to breathe. Secured the iPad playing Frozen so it wouldn't fall again, and headed home feeling defeated with a dash of halfhearted accomplishment. She barely made a noise on the drive back, so the secured screen really might be my ticket to the world again.
Baby types: nnb ;l. v ? ,,,,,,,,,,hynj mq`Q;';``````` qq 6t